I know to whom I must be thankful these days. Someone who makes me laugh despite everything that's going on in my life. Ellen!
The first time I heard her name, something clicked inside me, I thought I'd ever heard - or read - that name before. Do you happen to know if 'Ellen' show has ever been aired in Indonesia? Besides, I kind of remember the Time Magazine's cover with Ellen on it. Dunno. Deja vu, or have I really seen it when I was a child?
I went, 'WOW!' the first time I heard that Ellen is going to be Oscar's host. That's such an honor, and well... she deserves it. To think that someone who has been down-ed by the community and still can kick back that hard... geez, she really inspires me! And what I love the most about her is her sense of humor! Besides, her view on many things is similar to mine.
I don't think many people in this country know this woman. But I bet most people know Finding Nemo. She's the voice talent behind Dory! Gosh, how I love that stupid blue fish! Lol. It'd be really frustating and really fun at the same time to have a friend like that! Yup, the writer wrote about Dory while imagining Ellen's voice in his head, so in other words, the part was made especially for her. It fits her so well. I don't know why, everytime I look at Dory I think of how she looks like Ellen - visually! Yup. Perfect, indeed.
I've never seen any of Ellen episode, but I did get a transcript for the most memorable episode of all, The Puppy Episode. I got to see the clip in youtube.com, too. Laugh my ass off that one! Heh heh.
Well... actually I plan to write a long post about her, but I guess I'd have to wait till I'm in the mood. I'm now in a hurry coz I only have 28 minutes left for internet... sigh. And I still want to browse more and more, so... see ya next time.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Finally! This Week Is Over... Almost
Okay, this week hasn't been too terrible, but I can't help but feel some nervousness over my tests. I'm not good at practical things, I'm pretty much a klutz. You know there're some people who are good at everything? Well, I'm quite the opposite of them. Maybe people who don't know me will see my achievements and they'll think I'm good at everything, but it's not true. I CAN do many things, I know. But I'm not GOOD at the first trial. Those things I can do are the things I routinely train myself on. But there are some people who don't need that, they are able to do things well, even at the first trial. At these times, I really envy them. It's not that I won't train myself, but there's no time. We only have ONE chance to learn, and then, BAM! The final test comes. It's like that. The things I scored most are the things I could practice at home. My friends 'wow'ed and 'ck'ed at me, but they just didn't know how long back I'd trained myself for that moment. About everyday I did it (about a month or so) just for that moment of test. I have to admit, though, luck and my other abilities (like my strengh and my English) also played a certain hand on the other tests. But even those things are the things I didn't get naturally. I trained myself on them because I knew I would need them someday, even for my everyday life. I was right. Lol.
I'll still have tests until Monday and after that I'll have the written tests until Wednesday and I'll go home on... maybe Saturday?
This week is hard more than just the physical factor. Physically, I think that this week has been really easy. But boring. And made me nervous. And there's neither 22 nor Little Bit. I find myself becoming lazy and of course, FAT. Usually I don't care, but this isn't only about my look, but also about my health. I'm not as strong as usual, I'm slower, and I bet my blood sugar (or whatever it's in English) gets high. The good thing, though, is that the artist in me showed herself again. I wrote yet another song, 'Like Green on Grass' and I found I'm still able to sketch St. Paul Cathedral.
Um... I like 'Ai Bu Fen' so much. Oh, I haven't written about that, right? It's the first openly lesbian song in China. The song is rather sappy, but I'm just a big old mushball, I love sappiness! The lyrics really went right into my heart (I was awake until 2 am - when I was suppossed to be on class on 6 am - translating the lyrics). The lyrics are far more beautiful in Chinese, but this is the rough translation.
Once I thought that love is just an extravagant hope
My heart is like a tightly closed window
Once in a while there's a light soaking through, but it still doesn't shine brightly
I'm helplessly in sorrow
It's you who taught me to bravely cherish hope
Holding tight my hand never to get lost
Together we stand up against the ruthless change of the world
Never afraid of the long night that's all around
If we still can choose whom we love, what would you choose?
Would we be just like now?
Loving someone in this way is stubborn or strong?
My love isn't any different, my heart isn't so hard to understand
I only wish for a simple feeling
As the years go by quickly, as love disappears like the wind
We'll still be in embrace
Love doesn't differ who's right who's wrong, love doesn't care what rumor says
If I can't find you in this lifetime, forever I won't give up
As the flowers gradually fall down, as we've seen the end of the world
You are my everything
Beautiful, isn't it? I couldn't translate it well enough to do the lyrics justice, just hear it for yourself.
I like my new song, 'Like Green on Grass'.
We can be like green on grass
Great apart, better together
Through the rain and heat from the sun
We'll grow together like always
We can be like green on grass
Through the stare people's throwing at us
Though people's feet stomping at us
It can never tear us apart
Cause God knew we'll need each other
That is why He created us to be together
As simple as the green on the grass.
It's dedicated for Ryan, since she's the one using that phrase often and inspired me to write this song.
Okay, that's about all I wana wrote today. Actually there're a lot of things going on here, one even made me absolutely MAD, but I think it's not worth telling here. I hope I can post things more often after this. I certainly miss blogging. Lol. See ya'll and wish me luck for my tests.
I'll still have tests until Monday and after that I'll have the written tests until Wednesday and I'll go home on... maybe Saturday?
This week is hard more than just the physical factor. Physically, I think that this week has been really easy. But boring. And made me nervous. And there's neither 22 nor Little Bit. I find myself becoming lazy and of course, FAT. Usually I don't care, but this isn't only about my look, but also about my health. I'm not as strong as usual, I'm slower, and I bet my blood sugar (or whatever it's in English) gets high. The good thing, though, is that the artist in me showed herself again. I wrote yet another song, 'Like Green on Grass' and I found I'm still able to sketch St. Paul Cathedral.
Um... I like 'Ai Bu Fen' so much. Oh, I haven't written about that, right? It's the first openly lesbian song in China. The song is rather sappy, but I'm just a big old mushball, I love sappiness! The lyrics really went right into my heart (I was awake until 2 am - when I was suppossed to be on class on 6 am - translating the lyrics). The lyrics are far more beautiful in Chinese, but this is the rough translation.
Once I thought that love is just an extravagant hope
My heart is like a tightly closed window
Once in a while there's a light soaking through, but it still doesn't shine brightly
I'm helplessly in sorrow
It's you who taught me to bravely cherish hope
Holding tight my hand never to get lost
Together we stand up against the ruthless change of the world
Never afraid of the long night that's all around
If we still can choose whom we love, what would you choose?
Would we be just like now?
Loving someone in this way is stubborn or strong?
My love isn't any different, my heart isn't so hard to understand
I only wish for a simple feeling
As the years go by quickly, as love disappears like the wind
We'll still be in embrace
Love doesn't differ who's right who's wrong, love doesn't care what rumor says
If I can't find you in this lifetime, forever I won't give up
As the flowers gradually fall down, as we've seen the end of the world
You are my everything
Beautiful, isn't it? I couldn't translate it well enough to do the lyrics justice, just hear it for yourself.
I like my new song, 'Like Green on Grass'.
We can be like green on grass
Great apart, better together
Through the rain and heat from the sun
We'll grow together like always
We can be like green on grass
Through the stare people's throwing at us
Though people's feet stomping at us
It can never tear us apart
Cause God knew we'll need each other
That is why He created us to be together
As simple as the green on the grass.
It's dedicated for Ryan, since she's the one using that phrase often and inspired me to write this song.
Okay, that's about all I wana wrote today. Actually there're a lot of things going on here, one even made me absolutely MAD, but I think it's not worth telling here. I hope I can post things more often after this. I certainly miss blogging. Lol. See ya'll and wish me luck for my tests.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Nao, Where Are Youuuu???
It seems that we lost contact nowadays. There are so many things I want to share with you but you seem to never be online when I am. How's your thesis? How's life there? I want to be able to chat with you again. So many things happened and I'm very confused, and I have no one here to talk to. Lately I've never been with the people I used to go out with, I don't hang around people who understand me, and it seems that the world hates me, right down to the people in my boarding house including the helpers. My friends seem to hate me coz I can't finish my job quick enough, though they still defend me in front of my lecturer, though they are more stating facts than defending me. My lecturers seem to hate me coz I am not brilliant enough in that subject of study. Damn. The only one listening is my mom. I know you're busy with your thesis, so I can't contact you often. I do need to talk to you, though. I wanna know how your life's going and I want to share many things with you.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Newest News About Planet Xena
Damn those people who takes Xena's name from eternity. Yet still, the names given to the planet and her moon aren't far from Xena anyway. The planet's official name is Eris, named to the Greek goddess of chaos. The name is chosen because the planet did cause a chaos until Pluto's status was downgraded. The moon is named Dysnomia, after Eris's daughter, known as the spirit of LAWLESSNESS. Coincidental??? I don't think so.
No matter what others call her, for me the dwarf planet will still be Xena. Besides, I bet the planet will be known as the planet which was once named Xena.
No matter what others call her, for me the dwarf planet will still be Xena. Besides, I bet the planet will be known as the planet which was once named Xena.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Bored
The theory is that you will learn a lot of little known facts about those who know you.
1. Start Time: 19:46
2.Name: Ryan
4. Astrology sign: gemini
5. Gender: girl
6. Hair color: black
8. Eye color: deep brown
10. Favorite color: black and white
11. Glasses: no
13. Tattoos: no
14. Hometown: you tell me
15. Single or taken: single
16. Siblings names: A
******HAVE YOU EVER*****
17. Cut your own hair? yes
18. Did something in the past month that you will regret? yes
20. Skipped school? yes
22. Bungee jumped? no..t yet
24. Punched someone? yes
25. Cheated on a test? yeah
26. Been arrested? no
27. Broken into someone’s house? no
30. Been rejected? yes
31. Been to a funeral? yes
32. Used a lighter? yes
33. Been on stage? yes
*****FAVORITE*****
34. Season: spring
35. Food: anything not spicy, not vegetables, not expired
36. Ice cream flavor: vanilla
37. School subject(s): mathematics
38. Candy: mint
39. Breakfast cereal: corn flakes
40. Person: Lucy Lawless
41. Book: I Found My Heart In San Francisco
42. Movie: romantic comedy, musical
43. Song: all kinds of music
44. Park: near my house
46. Place: my bed
47. Sport to watch on TV: badminton
50. Letter(s): X
51. Favorite fast food restaurant: always find junk food
52. Disney Princess: Mulan
53. TV station: nope
54. Name for a son: Kevin
55. Name for a daughter: Ryan
******DO YOU PREFER*****
56. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla
57. Alcoholic or non? non
58. Long relationships or one night stand? long
59. Dogs or cats? doggy
60. comedies or scary movies? comedies
61. Short or long hair? long
62. croutons or bacon bits? croutons
******FIRST THINGS THAT COME TO MIND******
64. Mexicans: tequillla sierra
65. School: assignments, homework
67. Cows: milk
70. Hand: fist
*****THE PAST 3 DAYS, HAVE YOU*****
71. Talked on the phone? yes
72. Watched a movie? yes
73. Cried? no
74. Smoked? no
75. Drank a glass of water? yes
76. Done Drugs? no
77. Read a book or magazine? yes
78. Watched TV? no
79. Looked in the mirror? yes
80. Taken a shower? yes
81. Taken picture? no
82. Listened to music? yes
83. Told someone you love them? no
84. End time: 19:53
1. Start Time: 19:46
2.Name: Ryan
4. Astrology sign: gemini
5. Gender: girl
6. Hair color: black
8. Eye color: deep brown
10. Favorite color: black and white
11. Glasses: no
13. Tattoos: no
14. Hometown: you tell me
15. Single or taken: single
16. Siblings names: A
******HAVE YOU EVER*****
17. Cut your own hair? yes
18. Did something in the past month that you will regret? yes
20. Skipped school? yes
22. Bungee jumped? no..t yet
24. Punched someone? yes
25. Cheated on a test? yeah
26. Been arrested? no
27. Broken into someone’s house? no
30. Been rejected? yes
31. Been to a funeral? yes
32. Used a lighter? yes
33. Been on stage? yes
*****FAVORITE*****
34. Season: spring
35. Food: anything not spicy, not vegetables, not expired
36. Ice cream flavor: vanilla
37. School subject(s): mathematics
38. Candy: mint
39. Breakfast cereal: corn flakes
40. Person: Lucy Lawless
41. Book: I Found My Heart In San Francisco
42. Movie: romantic comedy, musical
43. Song: all kinds of music
44. Park: near my house
46. Place: my bed
47. Sport to watch on TV: badminton
50. Letter(s): X
51. Favorite fast food restaurant: always find junk food
52. Disney Princess: Mulan
53. TV station: nope
54. Name for a son: Kevin
55. Name for a daughter: Ryan
******DO YOU PREFER*****
56. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla
57. Alcoholic or non? non
58. Long relationships or one night stand? long
59. Dogs or cats? doggy
60. comedies or scary movies? comedies
61. Short or long hair? long
62. croutons or bacon bits? croutons
******FIRST THINGS THAT COME TO MIND******
64. Mexicans: tequillla sierra
65. School: assignments, homework
67. Cows: milk
70. Hand: fist
*****THE PAST 3 DAYS, HAVE YOU*****
71. Talked on the phone? yes
72. Watched a movie? yes
73. Cried? no
74. Smoked? no
75. Drank a glass of water? yes
76. Done Drugs? no
77. Read a book or magazine? yes
78. Watched TV? no
79. Looked in the mirror? yes
80. Taken a shower? yes
81. Taken picture? no
82. Listened to music? yes
83. Told someone you love them? no
84. End time: 19:53
Okay, Sorry, That Was Harsh
After talking to Nao by sms later yesterday, I realized one thing. Maybe her being there isn't so bad after all.
You see, if I were to write a love story, it's very possibly that I'll make a blackout when the two soulmates came to a same place. It's also possible that I'll make those two soulmates are both having flu. And maybe I'll make those two soulmates recognize each other without seeing one another. And that's exactly what happened yesterday.
Maybe it's just a coincidence - okay, THREE coincidences - but it's not impossible that it's the connection between us, or the connection I felt for her. But why??? I'm well on my way forgeting her, I've even found somebody new (though I don't like her even half of my feelings for 22). Geez, sometimes God's just plain cruel. Hah hah. Who am I kidding? Yesterday I cursed God while singing praises for Him. Yup, 22, you do make me do crazy things.
You see, if I were to write a love story, it's very possibly that I'll make a blackout when the two soulmates came to a same place. It's also possible that I'll make those two soulmates are both having flu. And maybe I'll make those two soulmates recognize each other without seeing one another. And that's exactly what happened yesterday.
Maybe it's just a coincidence - okay, THREE coincidences - but it's not impossible that it's the connection between us, or the connection I felt for her. But why??? I'm well on my way forgeting her, I've even found somebody new (though I don't like her even half of my feelings for 22). Geez, sometimes God's just plain cruel. Hah hah. Who am I kidding? Yesterday I cursed God while singing praises for Him. Yup, 22, you do make me do crazy things.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Fuck!
And, do you know what??? Now, when I'm writing this, she's HERE!!! See??? That's what I mean! Everytime I want to forget her, she just POPS OUT from God-knows-where! Damn, even the lights went out. Bah.
Long Time No Post
If I have my status on my forehead it'd read 'FUCKIN BUSY' right now (too bad the phrase isn't read from right... just kidding, hah). Well, I know now why my seniors disappeared from everything after they got the practical classes. It's fun, a lot of fun, actually, but it sure is one hell in managing time! It also requires physical ability too! Damn, I only had about 5 hours of good sleep in a day, for sometime. Next week it's gonna be crazier. I've already spent about 10 hours at school, 14-15 hours if I have 2 classes, and it's gonna be more, maybe. Sigh.
And now I'm asked to be active again in organization. The problem is that I can't afford to give more time to anything other than my study, but those people need me, no matter if they realize that or not, I was surprised myself when I learned the truth about what would happen to them if we don't act quickly.
Worst of all, I have to try to forget 22. I can't afford to be either distracted when she's around or longing for her when she's away, with all these craziness around me. Maybe I wouldn't even do that if my feelings for her is as strong as ever. But it's just not. It's a torture to look at her flying from guy to guy to guy and ignoring me, but then she did something that made me believe she liked me. Damn, even when I wanted most to forget her, all in sudden I saw her in a pretty dress, looking so beautiful.
But I have good news, too. It's that Xena is now a dwarf planet. The biggest dwarf planet, actually, and Pluto isn't a planet anymore. I hope they won't change the name Xena. Everybody has known that the planet's nickname is Xena, why change it?
Okay, I won't write much, I'm very very tired. I'm sorry I haven't had the time to visit my friends' blogs... I hope I'll be able to, soon. Till then... take care!
And now I'm asked to be active again in organization. The problem is that I can't afford to give more time to anything other than my study, but those people need me, no matter if they realize that or not, I was surprised myself when I learned the truth about what would happen to them if we don't act quickly.
Worst of all, I have to try to forget 22. I can't afford to be either distracted when she's around or longing for her when she's away, with all these craziness around me. Maybe I wouldn't even do that if my feelings for her is as strong as ever. But it's just not. It's a torture to look at her flying from guy to guy to guy and ignoring me, but then she did something that made me believe she liked me. Damn, even when I wanted most to forget her, all in sudden I saw her in a pretty dress, looking so beautiful.
But I have good news, too. It's that Xena is now a dwarf planet. The biggest dwarf planet, actually, and Pluto isn't a planet anymore. I hope they won't change the name Xena. Everybody has known that the planet's nickname is Xena, why change it?
Okay, I won't write much, I'm very very tired. I'm sorry I haven't had the time to visit my friends' blogs... I hope I'll be able to, soon. Till then... take care!
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Some of My Songs... and The Story Behind
I made this song months ago:
"There's no many things I can do
There's no many things that I'm proud of
But when it comes to loving you
I give it my all
Cause you've brought out the best in me, to do the impossible
You're my source, my strength
My one right cause to fight
So don't just let me go, cause I'm the one for you
I can be the woman of your dream
I can be someone that you deserve
I can be someone you won't forget all your life
I can be the sun in your sky
I can be the light of your way
If you give me a chance to love you."
--- This song was made when I felt like I've done everything yet she still ignores me.---
I wrote this song several days ago:
"It's been a year since you've gone, I know I count the days
Now it's the time for you to come home
I wonder if you've changed, I know I'm not the same
But no matter what, you'll be beautiful in my eyes
I regret the day I let you walk away
Without knowing what I felt in my heart
So this time I beg you
Please listen to what I'll say
So finally you will know that
I miss you, I need you to be here with me, never ever to leave again
Cause I know I'll be bad without you
I miss you, I need you in my life
It scares me but I know it's true
I can't live without you, I must say
I need you."
--- This song was made when I was missing her... and I wanted her home soon.---
I wrote this song on Monday, August 14th 2006:
"I dreamed of you, just a short dream
But it stays long in my mind
Coz I have missed you so
And now you come back in my sight
It's a shame if this dream won't come true
In my dream, you kissed me
What I wouldn't give or do to make it real
In my dream, you kissed me
I hope that you'll do the same to me someday."
--- Now, guess what happened to me that day! Clue: The lyric for this song is entirely true.---
"There's no many things I can do
There's no many things that I'm proud of
But when it comes to loving you
I give it my all
Cause you've brought out the best in me, to do the impossible
You're my source, my strength
My one right cause to fight
So don't just let me go, cause I'm the one for you
I can be the woman of your dream
I can be someone that you deserve
I can be someone you won't forget all your life
I can be the sun in your sky
I can be the light of your way
If you give me a chance to love you."
--- This song was made when I felt like I've done everything yet she still ignores me.---
I wrote this song several days ago:
"It's been a year since you've gone, I know I count the days
Now it's the time for you to come home
I wonder if you've changed, I know I'm not the same
But no matter what, you'll be beautiful in my eyes
I regret the day I let you walk away
Without knowing what I felt in my heart
So this time I beg you
Please listen to what I'll say
So finally you will know that
I miss you, I need you to be here with me, never ever to leave again
Cause I know I'll be bad without you
I miss you, I need you in my life
It scares me but I know it's true
I can't live without you, I must say
I need you."
--- This song was made when I was missing her... and I wanted her home soon.---
I wrote this song on Monday, August 14th 2006:
"I dreamed of you, just a short dream
But it stays long in my mind
Coz I have missed you so
And now you come back in my sight
It's a shame if this dream won't come true
In my dream, you kissed me
What I wouldn't give or do to make it real
In my dream, you kissed me
I hope that you'll do the same to me someday."
--- Now, guess what happened to me that day! Clue: The lyric for this song is entirely true.---
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Coffee and Tea and Ryan's Family (?!)
The most intriguing question for me, hm? Guess what!
It's 'Coffee or tea?'
I love both beverages almost the same, as long as they both are the same level of good. Okay, I know very little about coffee, just theoritically. But I'm learning about tea right now... from comic. Heh heh. 'Prince of Tea', if you're interested. Like it a lot.Okay, forget the coffee and tea for a while, coz I won't write about how to brew coffee or tea this time. Heh heh.
This is mostly about my family. I think it's time for me to write something about them. Before, I just don't want people to identify me, but what the heck. It doesn't take a Sherlock Holmes to tell that it's me. Anyone who knows me well enough to know who's my idol will recognize me in a minute. Besides, my family is such an important part in my life that I can't imagine not including them at all in this little universe of mine.
Hmmm... where to start? My family's just a usual family, with five members now, including my grandmother. My parents are equal partners in our little shop, though my mom rules a bit more. We're pretty liberal in the matter of religions, for there are three religions for our five members. Well, if I can write in ID card that I'm Agnostic, that will make it four. Heh. I've a younger sister who's cute in front of everyone else but changes into a little monster everytime we're alone. Doesn't change my love for her, though. Lol.
Well, when it comes to my subject of study, I can't say I'm as lucky as Nao. Nao's family knows a lot about health so it helps with her major, but unfortunately my family doesn't know even the correct table manner, let alone anything about wine. Lol. Heck, they don't even know English - except my lil sis, of course. I often wonder if I've entered the wrong world. Heh heh. Dunno, I just enjoy it (plus, entering that world gives me a chance to meet a special lady. Heh heh).
My mom is the best mother in the world, I must say. She works really hard for all of us, and she survives all the years of dealing with my grandmother (believe me, you'll worship my mother if you know my grandmother. It takes a saint to put up with her!), to serve my father (my family's pretty conventional in the household, meaning that my father takes care of bills, mechanical troubles, vehicles, plants, and my mother cooks, supervising any helpers (I don't know why, I don't like the word 'servant') we have, preparing my dad's clothes, taking care of social events, taking care of the children, etc, etc.), to face with my rebellions (I have to admit I'm no help for her... :< ), to face my sis' mood-change, and of course, taking care of our shop. Plus, she's a great cook. What else could you want for a mother? Lol. No wonder she's the most important person for me in the world.
My dad, on the other hand, is probably the one I respect the most. He's very very very silent. But I never questioned his intellegence. Such a waste that he's only junior high graduate. I even respect him more for coping up with the fact that his wife is better educated from him. And never ever I'm not proud of him. There can be millions of college graduates, masters, phd.s, doctors, but how many of them has the compassion my father has? How many of them has his dedication to his family, his never-ever-complain rule for himself, his loving heart, and his helping hand to those less fortunate than him? He's the only son sticking to my grandparents and serve them without ever complaining about his other brothers who live separately and much more wealthy than him, still my grandmother complains a lot about him and often treats him too hard. It really needs a greater strength to show compassion. All my life never once I heard him complained about anything at all. Not about his not-functioning-so-well-anymore hands, not about my grandmother, not about his disease, not about his children, not about anything at all. And by the way, he has so many skills no other man I know can compare. And though he's not formally educated, he educated himself so well that he knows a lot of useful things in life, a lot of pracical knowledge, and in short, though he doesn't know difficult words, he knows things about as much as a college gradutes. His motto in life? "Be hard to yourself and be kind to others."
Well, I can't say much about my grandmother, coz we really don't get along well at all. We love each other in a 'I love you but I hate you' kind of way. But she's great and admired by many people. Can you imagine a 70s-year-old lady getting up on a jet-coaster??? Not exactly a jet coaster, but kind of the same. She's almost 90 and she still has a mind as sharp as a shark's teeth, and a healthy body that makes a doctor shook his head in wonder. She still hangs out with her friends, goes out often, well, not differ much with a 40s-year-old women. Oh, and she knows more about cars than even my male relatives who are not a car salesman. I kinda believe that she'll even outlive me. Lol.
Now, my sis. She's smart. Really smart. But she chooses not to use her brain by study hard. She's changed now, due to my mom's everyday effort. But still, she only focuses in thing she's interested in, not the whole subjects. In a way she's much more talented from me, especially in creativity. It's just that we expertise in different things. I'm more in music and art and writing, and she's more in handcraft and actually she's good in art but different art than mine, and in inventing creative things. I often feel that she follows my path too often, that sometimes she adapts my bad characteristics, too. Well, but she's a cute sister (in front of other people, that's it) and I won't change her even for Lucy Lawless (that's saying a lot!). Lol.
My other main family includes my late grandpa and my late aunt. My aunt died when I was five. She had a lot of skills in music, handcrafting, art, and languages. She was a piano and organ teacher (though she could play guitar, too), tourist guide, and handcrafting teacher (I don't really know about this). She also cooked well. Best of all, as far as I remember it, she was like the second mother to me. My late grandpa was a headmaster somewhere in the past, before he opened the shop we have now with my grandma, who was once his student (ow, so romantic!). He was an athlete too, and he only showed a sign of disease when he was 80. He overcame his diseases for more than ten years, since he died on the age of 93. Such a long, fulfilled life, I must say, and he's a great inspiration for all of us, family. By the way, his family is kinda cool, too bad we're not hanging around often with them, because they live in different city. They are so solid, and fun, and... well, cool. They marched together at a restaurant, they made a yahoo group for our family, etc, etc. Cool, really.
Hm... in short I love my family so much, just that I don't show it often. We're all the sit-on-feelings kind of people, so we're not used to hug or kiss or say 'I love you' to each other, but each of us is well aware that we're loved (from a simple gesture like a helping hand when needed, a tap on the back to show support, the jokes and laughs we share) and what more can I want?
Then it comes to the title question: coffee or tea? WORK, OR FAMILY? They're rather alike. Work is like coffee for me. They have strong flavor that makes you either love it or hate it. They make you stay awake at night, and they make you feel the prestige of being an adult. Tea and family, on the other hand, have a sweet, claming flavor that is suitable for adult and children. They do make you stay awake, but not as strongly as coffee do. They make you feel calm and content, easily makes you relax just with their presence.
I'm the type of person who thinks the world of my family. My friends and my teachers say that when you are interviewed for job, when asked 'work or family' I must answer 'work', because it will make me acceptable more. But isn't that really a lie? Who in their right mind would go to work still when there's a death in the family? When it comes to emergency, everyone would turn to their family, fuck with the job. I mean, we are adults, we should be able to make a line between our private and professional life. If the question asked is an example, like when you have a family reunion when there's a meeting at the office, or something like that, I can answer it truthfully. After all, I'm sure I can make the right decision when I face the problem. For me family and work complements each other. I need work to have enough money to provide my family and I need my family to support me in the job I do. I can't choose one over another, it's depended on the situation. Granted, I haven't had a job, but as a student doubling with organization I've learned a lot about priorities. I'm sure I can choose the right decision, even if I have to sacrifice my want.
So, don't ask me 'coffee or tea' (unless in a job interview, coz I have no choice but answer it, lol) coz I'll only smile and pass you by.
It's 'Coffee or tea?'
I love both beverages almost the same, as long as they both are the same level of good. Okay, I know very little about coffee, just theoritically. But I'm learning about tea right now... from comic. Heh heh. 'Prince of Tea', if you're interested. Like it a lot.Okay, forget the coffee and tea for a while, coz I won't write about how to brew coffee or tea this time. Heh heh.
This is mostly about my family. I think it's time for me to write something about them. Before, I just don't want people to identify me, but what the heck. It doesn't take a Sherlock Holmes to tell that it's me. Anyone who knows me well enough to know who's my idol will recognize me in a minute. Besides, my family is such an important part in my life that I can't imagine not including them at all in this little universe of mine.
Hmmm... where to start? My family's just a usual family, with five members now, including my grandmother. My parents are equal partners in our little shop, though my mom rules a bit more. We're pretty liberal in the matter of religions, for there are three religions for our five members. Well, if I can write in ID card that I'm Agnostic, that will make it four. Heh. I've a younger sister who's cute in front of everyone else but changes into a little monster everytime we're alone. Doesn't change my love for her, though. Lol.
Well, when it comes to my subject of study, I can't say I'm as lucky as Nao. Nao's family knows a lot about health so it helps with her major, but unfortunately my family doesn't know even the correct table manner, let alone anything about wine. Lol. Heck, they don't even know English - except my lil sis, of course. I often wonder if I've entered the wrong world. Heh heh. Dunno, I just enjoy it (plus, entering that world gives me a chance to meet a special lady. Heh heh).
My mom is the best mother in the world, I must say. She works really hard for all of us, and she survives all the years of dealing with my grandmother (believe me, you'll worship my mother if you know my grandmother. It takes a saint to put up with her!), to serve my father (my family's pretty conventional in the household, meaning that my father takes care of bills, mechanical troubles, vehicles, plants, and my mother cooks, supervising any helpers (I don't know why, I don't like the word 'servant') we have, preparing my dad's clothes, taking care of social events, taking care of the children, etc, etc.), to face with my rebellions (I have to admit I'm no help for her... :< ), to face my sis' mood-change, and of course, taking care of our shop. Plus, she's a great cook. What else could you want for a mother? Lol. No wonder she's the most important person for me in the world.
My dad, on the other hand, is probably the one I respect the most. He's very very very silent. But I never questioned his intellegence. Such a waste that he's only junior high graduate. I even respect him more for coping up with the fact that his wife is better educated from him. And never ever I'm not proud of him. There can be millions of college graduates, masters, phd.s, doctors, but how many of them has the compassion my father has? How many of them has his dedication to his family, his never-ever-complain rule for himself, his loving heart, and his helping hand to those less fortunate than him? He's the only son sticking to my grandparents and serve them without ever complaining about his other brothers who live separately and much more wealthy than him, still my grandmother complains a lot about him and often treats him too hard. It really needs a greater strength to show compassion. All my life never once I heard him complained about anything at all. Not about his not-functioning-so-well-anymore hands, not about my grandmother, not about his disease, not about his children, not about anything at all. And by the way, he has so many skills no other man I know can compare. And though he's not formally educated, he educated himself so well that he knows a lot of useful things in life, a lot of pracical knowledge, and in short, though he doesn't know difficult words, he knows things about as much as a college gradutes. His motto in life? "Be hard to yourself and be kind to others."
Well, I can't say much about my grandmother, coz we really don't get along well at all. We love each other in a 'I love you but I hate you' kind of way. But she's great and admired by many people. Can you imagine a 70s-year-old lady getting up on a jet-coaster??? Not exactly a jet coaster, but kind of the same. She's almost 90 and she still has a mind as sharp as a shark's teeth, and a healthy body that makes a doctor shook his head in wonder. She still hangs out with her friends, goes out often, well, not differ much with a 40s-year-old women. Oh, and she knows more about cars than even my male relatives who are not a car salesman. I kinda believe that she'll even outlive me. Lol.
Now, my sis. She's smart. Really smart. But she chooses not to use her brain by study hard. She's changed now, due to my mom's everyday effort. But still, she only focuses in thing she's interested in, not the whole subjects. In a way she's much more talented from me, especially in creativity. It's just that we expertise in different things. I'm more in music and art and writing, and she's more in handcraft and actually she's good in art but different art than mine, and in inventing creative things. I often feel that she follows my path too often, that sometimes she adapts my bad characteristics, too. Well, but she's a cute sister (in front of other people, that's it) and I won't change her even for Lucy Lawless (that's saying a lot!). Lol.
My other main family includes my late grandpa and my late aunt. My aunt died when I was five. She had a lot of skills in music, handcrafting, art, and languages. She was a piano and organ teacher (though she could play guitar, too), tourist guide, and handcrafting teacher (I don't really know about this). She also cooked well. Best of all, as far as I remember it, she was like the second mother to me. My late grandpa was a headmaster somewhere in the past, before he opened the shop we have now with my grandma, who was once his student (ow, so romantic!). He was an athlete too, and he only showed a sign of disease when he was 80. He overcame his diseases for more than ten years, since he died on the age of 93. Such a long, fulfilled life, I must say, and he's a great inspiration for all of us, family. By the way, his family is kinda cool, too bad we're not hanging around often with them, because they live in different city. They are so solid, and fun, and... well, cool. They marched together at a restaurant, they made a yahoo group for our family, etc, etc. Cool, really.
Hm... in short I love my family so much, just that I don't show it often. We're all the sit-on-feelings kind of people, so we're not used to hug or kiss or say 'I love you' to each other, but each of us is well aware that we're loved (from a simple gesture like a helping hand when needed, a tap on the back to show support, the jokes and laughs we share) and what more can I want?
Then it comes to the title question: coffee or tea? WORK, OR FAMILY? They're rather alike. Work is like coffee for me. They have strong flavor that makes you either love it or hate it. They make you stay awake at night, and they make you feel the prestige of being an adult. Tea and family, on the other hand, have a sweet, claming flavor that is suitable for adult and children. They do make you stay awake, but not as strongly as coffee do. They make you feel calm and content, easily makes you relax just with their presence.
I'm the type of person who thinks the world of my family. My friends and my teachers say that when you are interviewed for job, when asked 'work or family' I must answer 'work', because it will make me acceptable more. But isn't that really a lie? Who in their right mind would go to work still when there's a death in the family? When it comes to emergency, everyone would turn to their family, fuck with the job. I mean, we are adults, we should be able to make a line between our private and professional life. If the question asked is an example, like when you have a family reunion when there's a meeting at the office, or something like that, I can answer it truthfully. After all, I'm sure I can make the right decision when I face the problem. For me family and work complements each other. I need work to have enough money to provide my family and I need my family to support me in the job I do. I can't choose one over another, it's depended on the situation. Granted, I haven't had a job, but as a student doubling with organization I've learned a lot about priorities. I'm sure I can choose the right decision, even if I have to sacrifice my want.
So, don't ask me 'coffee or tea' (unless in a job interview, coz I have no choice but answer it, lol) coz I'll only smile and pass you by.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Today
I had a pretty terrible fight with my mom. Well, actually my mom was angry and I didn't even open my mouth. Then I just ride on a motorcycle.
Initially I had nowhere to go. I just went arount the city, then an idea plopped on my mind and I decided to go to Parangtritis. Afterall, when I was upset, it was best not to meet any people I know, be completely alone and quiet. So I did.
That was the best decision I made all day. Along the way to the beach I finally saw the destructions of Jogja's Earthquake. It wasn't pretty. I was so thankful that I am okay and my family are okay. And it's good for a thought, too, after the horrible fight with my mom.
There were times on the road when I felt like giving up. It wasn't the safest road in the world, for I knew that there were people who would steal to survive. Besides, I didn't know the way, really, I just followed my instict to get there. I've been to the beach several times but I've never driven there, let alone by myself. Then came another argument that I'm a girl and it wasn't good to be on the beach alone, who knows what might happened?
Against all the good reason, I kept going and I reached the beach. It was like a dream. Before, I was in a city full of malls and shops and people, then I was on the road seeing the destruction caused by the nature, and then I was on the beach, seeing the beauty of the nature. When I touched the water I couldn't help but thinking if I was going to wake anytime soon. But I didn't. I enjoyed my time, walking on the beach, playing with the water and simply felt alive.
After spending about half an hour there I went back on the road. I felt hungry but I didn't dare picking up food and ate it home for it would only cause a bigger mess with my family. So I picked up food, and ate it here, in a warnet. Even now I'm not sure if my mom will talk to me. No, actually I'm sure she won't talk to me. Typical. Damn. This is suppossed to be my holiday!
Maybe, it's best to break down and cry anytime you feel like doing it. Well, I learned my lesson. If I did it back then when I felt like doing it, I wouldn't feel so miserable and heavy all these times that I wouldn't let small things upset me. It isn't right to blame my family because they don't know what was going on in my life, they don't know how I went through some things back then, they don't know how I deserve a rest, they only know the result of my work and it's good, so they think I went through all of that easily.
Well, I guess I'm not that strong a person afterall. I've tried to bear all the burdens by myself and I failed, it slapped me back in the end.
I'll go home now. Sorry you have to read this piece of shit, but I can't use my computer at home to write this (coz my family will find out for sure) and I just have to write this or I'll be even downer. Oh, and if you can, take a little time to pray for the victims of the earthquake. I think the food and money given to them are plenty enough (except for the area which hasn't been reached), now they need the strength inside to cope with the mental trauma, and God can help a lot with that.
See ya next time, I hope in a better day than today.
Initially I had nowhere to go. I just went arount the city, then an idea plopped on my mind and I decided to go to Parangtritis. Afterall, when I was upset, it was best not to meet any people I know, be completely alone and quiet. So I did.
That was the best decision I made all day. Along the way to the beach I finally saw the destructions of Jogja's Earthquake. It wasn't pretty. I was so thankful that I am okay and my family are okay. And it's good for a thought, too, after the horrible fight with my mom.
There were times on the road when I felt like giving up. It wasn't the safest road in the world, for I knew that there were people who would steal to survive. Besides, I didn't know the way, really, I just followed my instict to get there. I've been to the beach several times but I've never driven there, let alone by myself. Then came another argument that I'm a girl and it wasn't good to be on the beach alone, who knows what might happened?
Against all the good reason, I kept going and I reached the beach. It was like a dream. Before, I was in a city full of malls and shops and people, then I was on the road seeing the destruction caused by the nature, and then I was on the beach, seeing the beauty of the nature. When I touched the water I couldn't help but thinking if I was going to wake anytime soon. But I didn't. I enjoyed my time, walking on the beach, playing with the water and simply felt alive.
After spending about half an hour there I went back on the road. I felt hungry but I didn't dare picking up food and ate it home for it would only cause a bigger mess with my family. So I picked up food, and ate it here, in a warnet. Even now I'm not sure if my mom will talk to me. No, actually I'm sure she won't talk to me. Typical. Damn. This is suppossed to be my holiday!
Maybe, it's best to break down and cry anytime you feel like doing it. Well, I learned my lesson. If I did it back then when I felt like doing it, I wouldn't feel so miserable and heavy all these times that I wouldn't let small things upset me. It isn't right to blame my family because they don't know what was going on in my life, they don't know how I went through some things back then, they don't know how I deserve a rest, they only know the result of my work and it's good, so they think I went through all of that easily.
Well, I guess I'm not that strong a person afterall. I've tried to bear all the burdens by myself and I failed, it slapped me back in the end.
I'll go home now. Sorry you have to read this piece of shit, but I can't use my computer at home to write this (coz my family will find out for sure) and I just have to write this or I'll be even downer. Oh, and if you can, take a little time to pray for the victims of the earthquake. I think the food and money given to them are plenty enough (except for the area which hasn't been reached), now they need the strength inside to cope with the mental trauma, and God can help a lot with that.
See ya next time, I hope in a better day than today.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
So Damn Bored
It's a funny thing that I'm bored and tired in the same time. Well, at least today my training has ended.
I cancel my intention to post my writing because yesterday I read something that made me change my mind. But I'll post this instead. This is the list of birth-month, birthstones and the meaning, and the flower, in case someone wants to give a gift to someone else's birthday.
January - Garnet (Constancy) - Carnation, Snowdrop
February - Amethyst (Sincerity) - Violet, Primrose
March - Bloodstine, Aquamarine (Courage) - Jonquil, Baffodil
April - Diamond (Innocence) - Sweet Pea, Daisy
May - Emerald (Love, Success) - Lily of The Valley, Hawthorn
June - Pearl, Moonstone, Alexandrite (Health & Longevity) - Rose, Honeysuckle
July - Ruby (Contentment) - Larkspur, Water Lily
August - Sardonyx, Peridor (Marriage Happiness) - Poppy, Gladiolus
September - Sapphire (Clear Thinking) - Aster, Morning Glory
October - Opal, Taurmaline (Hope) - Calendula, Cosmos
November - Topaz (Fidelity) - Chysanthenum
December - Turquise, Zircon (Prosperity) - Narcisus, Holly
Hm... from this list, me and 22 are Health, Longevity, and Prosperity. Wow, that's the dream life! Hah hah hah.
By the way I did taste my first wine today. Before this I thought that wine is better than any other alcoholic drinks, but it seemed to me today that it's no different. I tasted three kinds of wine: sparkling wine, white wine, and red wine. So unless if they gave me the bad year or anything, I decided that I don't like wine. For now. Hm... I felt a little light-headed after drinking that much of wine. LOL. Figured. Alcohol and me? Not a good couple. But I will see if that can change, since I want to be a bartender so much more than anything. At least I do love coffee and tea. Good thing today we had a presentation from Starbucks, but no tea involved, such a shame.
Okay, gotta go. I'm bored as hell and I still have to pick money from ATM later. I forgot to do it earlier.
I cancel my intention to post my writing because yesterday I read something that made me change my mind. But I'll post this instead. This is the list of birth-month, birthstones and the meaning, and the flower, in case someone wants to give a gift to someone else's birthday.
January - Garnet (Constancy) - Carnation, Snowdrop
February - Amethyst (Sincerity) - Violet, Primrose
March - Bloodstine, Aquamarine (Courage) - Jonquil, Baffodil
April - Diamond (Innocence) - Sweet Pea, Daisy
May - Emerald (Love, Success) - Lily of The Valley, Hawthorn
June - Pearl, Moonstone, Alexandrite (Health & Longevity) - Rose, Honeysuckle
July - Ruby (Contentment) - Larkspur, Water Lily
August - Sardonyx, Peridor (Marriage Happiness) - Poppy, Gladiolus
September - Sapphire (Clear Thinking) - Aster, Morning Glory
October - Opal, Taurmaline (Hope) - Calendula, Cosmos
November - Topaz (Fidelity) - Chysanthenum
December - Turquise, Zircon (Prosperity) - Narcisus, Holly
Hm... from this list, me and 22 are Health, Longevity, and Prosperity. Wow, that's the dream life! Hah hah hah.
By the way I did taste my first wine today. Before this I thought that wine is better than any other alcoholic drinks, but it seemed to me today that it's no different. I tasted three kinds of wine: sparkling wine, white wine, and red wine. So unless if they gave me the bad year or anything, I decided that I don't like wine. For now. Hm... I felt a little light-headed after drinking that much of wine. LOL. Figured. Alcohol and me? Not a good couple. But I will see if that can change, since I want to be a bartender so much more than anything. At least I do love coffee and tea. Good thing today we had a presentation from Starbucks, but no tea involved, such a shame.
Okay, gotta go. I'm bored as hell and I still have to pick money from ATM later. I forgot to do it earlier.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Long Time No See
Huh, not really long time, actually. Heh heh. I've just been busy these times. I climbed my second mountain this Monday, though not to the peak coz I did that only for the sake of my juniors. I climbed up and down only in half a day and got home at 11 pm, took a shower, writing something in my diary and went to sleep at about 1 am. The next day I had training for my program and had to get up at 5.30. Thanks to that I was half-asleep in two of the three sessions that day. I got home at 5 pm and stupid me, I slept until 6.30 pm, calling for some food delivery to celebrate my IP which was announced yesterday (not excellent, but better than the last time), and I couldn't sleep until 2.30 am!!!! No wonder I felt raher dizzy today, I only slept for about 3-4 hours last night. Sigh. Tomorrow is the last day of the training but the day after my friend wants to give me a treat (for her birthday) at SEVEN o'clock!!! That means I'll have to be ready to go at FIVE THIRTY!!! LOL!!! I'm busted. Sleeping is one of my favorite activities and I loooooove to sleep until noon... or even afternoon. I've ever woke up at 4 pm the next day. Hah hah hah.
Thank God the sessions today wasn't boring. It was kinda cool. About food and beverage. I learned many things, including which chemical was bad for the human's body, the chemicals which are banned from USA already but are still used a lot in Indonesia, the good and bad packaging, MANY THINGS!!!
What I look forward to, though, is tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll have my first WINE. Hah hah hah. Yea, tomorrow is my turn to try the 'food and wine combining'. Wonderful! Not to mention that there'll be a session on my two favorite beverages: coffee and tea. Hm-m. I certainly look forward to that!!!
Well, actually I wanted to post something here, but I forgot to bring it from home. Such a shame that I don't have internet connection home. But what the heck, I don't need it home. It's cheaper, easier this way, except when it was raining hard and I have to go to warnet to search for some information in order to do my assignment. Now, that's a torture - coz I only have my foot and the nearest warnet isn't so near anyway and it's down rather often... and when it's down it means that I'll have to walk even a longer distance. LOL. Torture, indeed. But it's great too, actually... that makes me thank God for my feet.
'Kay, that's about all for today. I hope tomorrow I can post my writing, or just browse the internet. And thanks for Haze to drop me a line, that's the only reason why I post something today .
Thank God the sessions today wasn't boring. It was kinda cool. About food and beverage. I learned many things, including which chemical was bad for the human's body, the chemicals which are banned from USA already but are still used a lot in Indonesia, the good and bad packaging, MANY THINGS!!!
What I look forward to, though, is tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll have my first WINE. Hah hah hah. Yea, tomorrow is my turn to try the 'food and wine combining'. Wonderful! Not to mention that there'll be a session on my two favorite beverages: coffee and tea. Hm-m. I certainly look forward to that!!!
Well, actually I wanted to post something here, but I forgot to bring it from home. Such a shame that I don't have internet connection home. But what the heck, I don't need it home. It's cheaper, easier this way, except when it was raining hard and I have to go to warnet to search for some information in order to do my assignment. Now, that's a torture - coz I only have my foot and the nearest warnet isn't so near anyway and it's down rather often... and when it's down it means that I'll have to walk even a longer distance. LOL. Torture, indeed. But it's great too, actually... that makes me thank God for my feet.
'Kay, that's about all for today. I hope tomorrow I can post my writing, or just browse the internet. And thanks for Haze to drop me a line, that's the only reason why I post something today .
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Children and Fiction Characters
There's an interesting post I read in Violette's blog. 'Doraemon'. It just struck me, since I'm a Doraemon fan too. Not in a bad sense, though. It just make me think - a lot.
Hm... I've taken a class, a pretty interesting class, actually, about Penciptaan and it's combined with science. In short, it was a class about how science could proof the bible, especially about matters which are usually thought as impossible, like the Noah's Ark (How can the ark carry that many animals and how can they survive inside the ark for 40 days?), the actual age of the earth, how can Kain married his own sister (logically, if Adam & Eve were the only people lived on earth then there would be no one to marry Kain besides his own sister, right?) and be okay, how can Jesus turn water to wine, etc, etc.
Where was I? Sorry, got carried away. Oh, yeah. So, one day the class discussed about fiction characters like Doraemon, Dragon Balls, and such. The lecturer taught us that those cartoons are no good and only make children believe less in God and in Creation. Children will be taught that dinosaurs were real, that this earth is very very old (more than 30 million years, while according to the bible it's only about 6000 years), and that human comes from monkeys, not from Adam and Eve. I was like, "WHAAAAT???" And letting our children being in the real world all the time where everything is so depressing??? Even I created this Ryanverse to run away from the real world, how can children handle the real world without any fantasy-land they can run into anytime?
Quite honestly, when I was little I've never liked fiction characters like that. But that's the point. Now I regret it. What's the point in being a kid if you have not believed in Santa Claus since you were FIVE??? What's the point in being a kid if you never touched the land of fantasy, dreaming of being a Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty or the knight in the shining armor? Yea, yea, maybe that's why I'm such a cartoon-lover now, kinda make up for the missing time. I promise myself that when I have children someday I'll let them roam wild with their fantasy. And this is the connection to the Violette's post.
Personally, I think letting children enjoying the fantasy while they can is a must. It will let them explore their creative side as well as starting to make them feel. By feeling what the characters in the fiction feel, they will learn about compassion, friendship, and many other things. Of course, I admit, this will need a hand from the parents.
Like Violette's post's case. I think it's up to the mother, whether she could wisely handle the kid or not. I don't know the kid personally so I can't tell what to be done exactly, but his mother should know better. If the kid wants to act like Nobita because he wants to have a Doraemon, she could say, "Why don't you study hard and be a good boy, that someday you can invent a Doraemon by yourself and make him your best friend?" or, if the boy really loves Doraemon, she could say, "Isn't Doraemon the happiest when Nobita becomes a dilligent and good child? Don't you want to make him happy?"
I do that to myself all the time, too. When I feel so much fear to do something, I quote Xena, "Everybody's afraid, some only hide it better." When I feel like I can't do something or can't find a way out of a situation, I'll think, "What would Xena do?" When I regret something so deeply, I remember Xena saying, "Nothing we can do to change the past, we can only work to make the future better." I happen to have the same birthday with Donald Duck, and I happen to have the same clumsiness, the same bad-luck as he does, and sometimes I'm so embarassed by myself who let the words out without having the brain processed it first, just like him. But so I think, "Donald is just as clumsy as me, he has bad-luck just like me, he's also often mis-spoken things, but everybody loves him, so everybody can love me too."
See? Fiction characters can be good, too. I admit that maybe they'll make children believe in bible less and less and less, but if the parents really care, they can actually turn the effect as they like. It's not the matter of the object. It's how the subject catches the messages. So if you wanna do something, don't do it to the object. Do it to the subject.
Hm... I've taken a class, a pretty interesting class, actually, about Penciptaan and it's combined with science. In short, it was a class about how science could proof the bible, especially about matters which are usually thought as impossible, like the Noah's Ark (How can the ark carry that many animals and how can they survive inside the ark for 40 days?), the actual age of the earth, how can Kain married his own sister (logically, if Adam & Eve were the only people lived on earth then there would be no one to marry Kain besides his own sister, right?) and be okay, how can Jesus turn water to wine, etc, etc.
Where was I? Sorry, got carried away. Oh, yeah. So, one day the class discussed about fiction characters like Doraemon, Dragon Balls, and such. The lecturer taught us that those cartoons are no good and only make children believe less in God and in Creation. Children will be taught that dinosaurs were real, that this earth is very very old (more than 30 million years, while according to the bible it's only about 6000 years), and that human comes from monkeys, not from Adam and Eve. I was like, "WHAAAAT???" And letting our children being in the real world all the time where everything is so depressing??? Even I created this Ryanverse to run away from the real world, how can children handle the real world without any fantasy-land they can run into anytime?
Quite honestly, when I was little I've never liked fiction characters like that. But that's the point. Now I regret it. What's the point in being a kid if you have not believed in Santa Claus since you were FIVE??? What's the point in being a kid if you never touched the land of fantasy, dreaming of being a Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty or the knight in the shining armor? Yea, yea, maybe that's why I'm such a cartoon-lover now, kinda make up for the missing time. I promise myself that when I have children someday I'll let them roam wild with their fantasy. And this is the connection to the Violette's post.
Personally, I think letting children enjoying the fantasy while they can is a must. It will let them explore their creative side as well as starting to make them feel. By feeling what the characters in the fiction feel, they will learn about compassion, friendship, and many other things. Of course, I admit, this will need a hand from the parents.
Like Violette's post's case. I think it's up to the mother, whether she could wisely handle the kid or not. I don't know the kid personally so I can't tell what to be done exactly, but his mother should know better. If the kid wants to act like Nobita because he wants to have a Doraemon, she could say, "Why don't you study hard and be a good boy, that someday you can invent a Doraemon by yourself and make him your best friend?" or, if the boy really loves Doraemon, she could say, "Isn't Doraemon the happiest when Nobita becomes a dilligent and good child? Don't you want to make him happy?"
I do that to myself all the time, too. When I feel so much fear to do something, I quote Xena, "Everybody's afraid, some only hide it better." When I feel like I can't do something or can't find a way out of a situation, I'll think, "What would Xena do?" When I regret something so deeply, I remember Xena saying, "Nothing we can do to change the past, we can only work to make the future better." I happen to have the same birthday with Donald Duck, and I happen to have the same clumsiness, the same bad-luck as he does, and sometimes I'm so embarassed by myself who let the words out without having the brain processed it first, just like him. But so I think, "Donald is just as clumsy as me, he has bad-luck just like me, he's also often mis-spoken things, but everybody loves him, so everybody can love me too."
See? Fiction characters can be good, too. I admit that maybe they'll make children believe in bible less and less and less, but if the parents really care, they can actually turn the effect as they like. It's not the matter of the object. It's how the subject catches the messages. So if you wanna do something, don't do it to the object. Do it to the subject.
Piano
You know, my mom was right. Now I'm very thankful that I can play piano. For one thing playing piano is a hobby that I can't not love. It's fun, and it also makes those around me happy too.
Then, the piano also becomes a communication tools which can be used anywhere. When I went aboard, when I couldn't speak the language, I simply communicated with the people with piano. I get to be Nao's friend because of piano. I quickly got a new friend in my new environment because of piano. I really felt lucky!
The ability to play piano also becomes one of my strength, since it means that I can teach piano if I can't get another job (heaven forbid!).
And then, for my private life, it's very helpful, too. In loving somebody, there's good and bad moments. In good moments, I can play to her and sing to her, or I can make a song for her. In bad times I can cheer myself up by playing. I can also use it for a gift to my beloved ones.
Piano also has been my inspiration, since I wrote 'The Sound of The Piano' fiction and Melia & Chris comic based on piano. And even the 'Lonely Knight' comic also including piano. And don't forget 'Ericka Erick' comic! I've even made a not-finished comic of an all-boy music school.
Oh, and one more thing: studying piano isn't one easy matter, and it helped a lot in building my character. My dicipline self I owe to piano. It also helped to build my confidence. And probably it also helped in building my never-ever-give-up (too determined) attitude. Heh heh.
I do feel very lucky, very thankful, especially to Mama for making me study piano at all costs. I really love piano, and not playing it for a while has been hard for me, but if I don't think I can bear it well if I can't play it forever.
Then, the piano also becomes a communication tools which can be used anywhere. When I went aboard, when I couldn't speak the language, I simply communicated with the people with piano. I get to be Nao's friend because of piano. I quickly got a new friend in my new environment because of piano. I really felt lucky!
The ability to play piano also becomes one of my strength, since it means that I can teach piano if I can't get another job (heaven forbid!).
And then, for my private life, it's very helpful, too. In loving somebody, there's good and bad moments. In good moments, I can play to her and sing to her, or I can make a song for her. In bad times I can cheer myself up by playing. I can also use it for a gift to my beloved ones.
Piano also has been my inspiration, since I wrote 'The Sound of The Piano' fiction and Melia & Chris comic based on piano. And even the 'Lonely Knight' comic also including piano. And don't forget 'Ericka Erick' comic! I've even made a not-finished comic of an all-boy music school.
Oh, and one more thing: studying piano isn't one easy matter, and it helped a lot in building my character. My dicipline self I owe to piano. It also helped to build my confidence. And probably it also helped in building my never-ever-give-up (too determined) attitude. Heh heh.
I do feel very lucky, very thankful, especially to Mama for making me study piano at all costs. I really love piano, and not playing it for a while has been hard for me, but if I don't think I can bear it well if I can't play it forever.
Documentary Movies
Note: This is also an old post of mine. Wanna move it here, too, for no other reason that I like it! Heh heh.
Do you know what I really want to watch at this moment? A documentary movie about gay issue.
Sometimes it's really funny, talking about how people despise gays, especially those Christians. I found three articles about three documentaries made. The first is 'I Can't Marry You' (I like the title so much. It goes right to heart). It's a documentary to educate heterosexual people that they'll know why exactly gay people strive so hard to get married. What I think would make this documentary a huge impact for the striving of gay people if many heterosexuals watch it, is that documetary movies put faces to issues. When they talk about gay marriage, some say yes, some say no, but those who say no mostly never see any real gay people, much less know them. They just say no because it's what's common in society. What if they imagine that gays are men wearing skirts and put lipstics and giant women with big muscles? Well, by putting faces to the issues, they can see for themselves that gays are just... people! Tell me I don't have a gaydar, I can't tell if those gay people in the pic I have are gay if I see them in person. But it's true! They differ just like us. Westerns, Asians, black, white, yellow, tall, short, slim, fat, pretty, not-so-pretty, butch, femme, in-betweens, professionals, junkies, rich, poor, there are so many kinds of them... they're just people. And in this documentary there are lesbian couples who've been together for ten years or more, even one with seventeen-year-old son. Just imagine if you and your loved one have lived together for that long, and still, you can't tell other people that your loved one is your spouse. Imagine trying to explain to your children why Mama and Mommy loves each other but they don't get married. And think about how fair it is that a loving couple can't get married when those people who just get remarried and redivorced can have the previllege of marriage. Don't you see that one sentence someone long to hear from the one they love is 'Would you marry me?' What if the answer has to be 'I'm sorry, I can't marry you' just because the law says so. Owww... this is a must-see documentary in for this days!
The second documentary is called 'God and Gays: Bridging the Gap'. This one is more personal than political. This is one great documentary too, and it can save lives if the right people watch it. This documentary captures how gay people deal with their religion. Some tried to become 'ex-gays' with a terrible emotional cost, some tried to kill themselves. In this documentary you can see how parents even prefer their kids to be dead than to be gay. Sometimes, it needs death before someone can change their attitude towards gays. I can never understand how religions can make people blind. It's not like the religion IS God. Religion is no more than just a phylosophy and a set of rules made by human to honor God. But the way changes from millenia to millenia. You know, I like the PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) so much. It gives me hope, that among the rejections, hatred, and prejudices, somewhere out there, there are people who care. I just wish there's one organization like that here.
I won't talk much about the third documentation, the 'All Aboard! Rosie's Family Cruise'. I just hope that I can someday join the cruise with my family. It's so nice seeing those people smile at the camera, all beaming for a chance to feel like ordinary family. Of course, ordinary families don't land to a group of protesters ready to condemn us. (I just feel a bit sarcastic today... sorry).
Oookaaaaaaay. I guess it's time for me to stop. There are so many things I want to share with the worlds, you know. I just don't know where to start and what to do yet. And I'm not original enough to share those things with the world except for the personal matters like religions and Gods, because, for shouting out loud, I haven't met even ONE gay yet (myself doesn't count)! Living here sucks a lot sometimes! Not only about gays, also about women's rights, about schooling in Indonesia, about politics, about many things else. But you know what? Those topics are covered much by people, they care about those topics. Now who would care about gay in this country if its gay people won't care themselves? I guess this country really need someone to speak out, loud, and proud.
Do you know what I really want to watch at this moment? A documentary movie about gay issue.
Sometimes it's really funny, talking about how people despise gays, especially those Christians. I found three articles about three documentaries made. The first is 'I Can't Marry You' (I like the title so much. It goes right to heart). It's a documentary to educate heterosexual people that they'll know why exactly gay people strive so hard to get married. What I think would make this documentary a huge impact for the striving of gay people if many heterosexuals watch it, is that documetary movies put faces to issues. When they talk about gay marriage, some say yes, some say no, but those who say no mostly never see any real gay people, much less know them. They just say no because it's what's common in society. What if they imagine that gays are men wearing skirts and put lipstics and giant women with big muscles? Well, by putting faces to the issues, they can see for themselves that gays are just... people! Tell me I don't have a gaydar, I can't tell if those gay people in the pic I have are gay if I see them in person. But it's true! They differ just like us. Westerns, Asians, black, white, yellow, tall, short, slim, fat, pretty, not-so-pretty, butch, femme, in-betweens, professionals, junkies, rich, poor, there are so many kinds of them... they're just people. And in this documentary there are lesbian couples who've been together for ten years or more, even one with seventeen-year-old son. Just imagine if you and your loved one have lived together for that long, and still, you can't tell other people that your loved one is your spouse. Imagine trying to explain to your children why Mama and Mommy loves each other but they don't get married. And think about how fair it is that a loving couple can't get married when those people who just get remarried and redivorced can have the previllege of marriage. Don't you see that one sentence someone long to hear from the one they love is 'Would you marry me?' What if the answer has to be 'I'm sorry, I can't marry you' just because the law says so. Owww... this is a must-see documentary in for this days!
The second documentary is called 'God and Gays: Bridging the Gap'. This one is more personal than political. This is one great documentary too, and it can save lives if the right people watch it. This documentary captures how gay people deal with their religion. Some tried to become 'ex-gays' with a terrible emotional cost, some tried to kill themselves. In this documentary you can see how parents even prefer their kids to be dead than to be gay. Sometimes, it needs death before someone can change their attitude towards gays. I can never understand how religions can make people blind. It's not like the religion IS God. Religion is no more than just a phylosophy and a set of rules made by human to honor God. But the way changes from millenia to millenia. You know, I like the PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) so much. It gives me hope, that among the rejections, hatred, and prejudices, somewhere out there, there are people who care. I just wish there's one organization like that here.
I won't talk much about the third documentation, the 'All Aboard! Rosie's Family Cruise'. I just hope that I can someday join the cruise with my family. It's so nice seeing those people smile at the camera, all beaming for a chance to feel like ordinary family. Of course, ordinary families don't land to a group of protesters ready to condemn us. (I just feel a bit sarcastic today... sorry).
Oookaaaaaaay. I guess it's time for me to stop. There are so many things I want to share with the worlds, you know. I just don't know where to start and what to do yet. And I'm not original enough to share those things with the world except for the personal matters like religions and Gods, because, for shouting out loud, I haven't met even ONE gay yet (myself doesn't count)! Living here sucks a lot sometimes! Not only about gays, also about women's rights, about schooling in Indonesia, about politics, about many things else. But you know what? Those topics are covered much by people, they care about those topics. Now who would care about gay in this country if its gay people won't care themselves? I guess this country really need someone to speak out, loud, and proud.
The Xena Planet
Note: I can't believe I haven't post this one yet! This is an old, old, old post but I want it to appear here anyhow. This is one of the best thing happened in 2005 for me!
Planet Xena. Wow!
The first time I heard it is from you, Nao. At that time I was very sick, but I closed my eyes and I felt like I was in a perfect world where anything I wanted could come true! It was amazing, really. Whatever the name given to that planet, the name will be immortal. Ten years from now, a hundred years from now, a thousand years from now, as long as there's human on earth, Xena and Gabrielle's name won't be forgotten. Tell me, is there any television show ever got that kind of honor???
Xena deserves it, I do believe so. The show has changed my life for the better, and maybe it has changed many many lives besides mine. It inspires me in many ways and it never gets old or boring. And you know what else's amazing? It'll mean that the WHOLE WORLD admits that Xena and Gabrielle belong together, whether they see them as friends or lovers. When there's a moon accompanying the Xena planet, no one thinks that the moon should be named Ares or Borias or Marcus or Joxer(?!) or whatever. Everyone automatically calls that moon Gabrielle.
There's one more thing that's amazing. It proves Xena's promise to Gabrielle: 'Even in death, Gabrielle, I will never leave you.' It's the most romantic sentence I've ever heard ever, because I know that it's true in the matter of Xena and Gabrielle. Well, now it is proven. It is proven that they will be together for eternity. Damn, as long as I'm concerned, the planet and the moon of Xena and Gabrielle can be the symbol for a perfect love!
I hope that planet will really be called Xena. She's now more than a TV character, she's a legend! Maybe she doesn't exist, maybe she's just a made-up character. But she can really change the world. Look at the way she changed me! If I don't know better, I'll say that she's a God-sent! For me, she is. She is a God-sent to remind me every time, that living is all about loving.
Planet Xena. Wow!
The first time I heard it is from you, Nao. At that time I was very sick, but I closed my eyes and I felt like I was in a perfect world where anything I wanted could come true! It was amazing, really. Whatever the name given to that planet, the name will be immortal. Ten years from now, a hundred years from now, a thousand years from now, as long as there's human on earth, Xena and Gabrielle's name won't be forgotten. Tell me, is there any television show ever got that kind of honor???
Xena deserves it, I do believe so. The show has changed my life for the better, and maybe it has changed many many lives besides mine. It inspires me in many ways and it never gets old or boring. And you know what else's amazing? It'll mean that the WHOLE WORLD admits that Xena and Gabrielle belong together, whether they see them as friends or lovers. When there's a moon accompanying the Xena planet, no one thinks that the moon should be named Ares or Borias or Marcus or Joxer(?!) or whatever. Everyone automatically calls that moon Gabrielle.
There's one more thing that's amazing. It proves Xena's promise to Gabrielle: 'Even in death, Gabrielle, I will never leave you.' It's the most romantic sentence I've ever heard ever, because I know that it's true in the matter of Xena and Gabrielle. Well, now it is proven. It is proven that they will be together for eternity. Damn, as long as I'm concerned, the planet and the moon of Xena and Gabrielle can be the symbol for a perfect love!
I hope that planet will really be called Xena. She's now more than a TV character, she's a legend! Maybe she doesn't exist, maybe she's just a made-up character. But she can really change the world. Look at the way she changed me! If I don't know better, I'll say that she's a God-sent! For me, she is. She is a God-sent to remind me every time, that living is all about loving.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
An Attempt In Judging
I surprised myself that I invented a way in judging people, given my dislike in judging people. But I think this one is pretty useful for me, or for people who want to predict how I will react to something. Heh heh. Well, I write this just spending time between my last exam and a meeting I have to attend, so I'd better be hurry.
Okay... here goes nothing.
In judging people I'll use this analyze:
1. Is what they do will hurt someone else?
(Including 'hurt' someone's heart or of course, physically. But if the 'someone else' is actually not affected by the doing, but they CHOOSE to feel hurt, it doesn't count.)
2. Do they have control over what they do?
3. Do they do what they do based on love for other people?
4. Is there any life saved by what they do?
These are the answers I expect from the questions: yes-no-yes-yes. As long as there are two out of four match my expectations, then I consider the action can be forgiven or can be done, or can be understood.
Well, I have no time to give an example for this analyze, I'll try to continue other time, but if you have a case for me to try this on, gimme. I will try to analyze it my way.
And just for warning, I don't exactly use this everytime I judge people. And this judgement isn't always correct, I just had some fun analyzing my own feelings. Heh heh. Talk about trying to intellectualizing a way to judge people! :p
Okay... here goes nothing.
In judging people I'll use this analyze:
1. Is what they do will hurt someone else?
(Including 'hurt' someone's heart or of course, physically. But if the 'someone else' is actually not affected by the doing, but they CHOOSE to feel hurt, it doesn't count.)
2. Do they have control over what they do?
3. Do they do what they do based on love for other people?
4. Is there any life saved by what they do?
These are the answers I expect from the questions: yes-no-yes-yes. As long as there are two out of four match my expectations, then I consider the action can be forgiven or can be done, or can be understood.
Well, I have no time to give an example for this analyze, I'll try to continue other time, but if you have a case for me to try this on, gimme. I will try to analyze it my way.
And just for warning, I don't exactly use this everytime I judge people. And this judgement isn't always correct, I just had some fun analyzing my own feelings. Heh heh. Talk about trying to intellectualizing a way to judge people! :p
Friday, June 16, 2006
Gia Carangi
This is one wallpaper I made for a wonderful someone. Though I've never known her (granted, I was born in the year she died!), I read stories about her life, I even watched a movie about her life, and I've seen pictures taken form the days of her life. And I think, "Wow! This person is really wonderful!"
She is Gia Carangi.
When I see her pictures, sometimes I think she's the art itself, you know. There's something about her that demands attention and admiration. And from her movie, I really admire her personality, too. She's wild, free, but at the same time, so fragile, too. I've read her quotes, and well, they are great too. She's just so... natural. Of course the fact that she's an open gay supermodel matters too. Oh, and the fact that she died from AIDS. Once again I'm reminded of how short life is and that AIDS is a terrible disease we should fight.
So, I dedicate this wallpaper for her. If you wonder why the wallpaper is so simple, it's because I made it only with power point. It's the only way I can make wallpaper with my old computer. Heh heh. But I'm proud.
God's Intentions
Maybe this will outrage many people, but when I have something to write, to hell with 'many people'!
I think some of God's intention had been wrongly interpreted by human, you know. Like AIDS. Maybe initially God created that disease to warn people who used drugs, and maybe also to remind people how short their lives really are so that they'll cherish everyday. But human misinterpreted it as a disease for gays. But AIDS isn't only a gay disease. In fact it's even easier to spread among heterosexual couples if said sexually. But the number of gays with AIDS increased dramatically because many of them, like how people like to imagine them, are druggers, bohemians, homelesses, and even criminals. Some of the reasons they're like that, though, is people-at-large's fault, for they're failed to accept gays in the society. Of course, some of the reasons are their own faults, for gays are just like ordinary people. They're not just victims. Some of them also had choices and they chose the wrong choice.
I'm pretty flexible about things and I even know that I've done the same mistakes with other people in judging something. I know that I used my OWN judgment as my standard too many times. But I still use my heart too and that makes me see that nothing is absolutely right or wrong. Even though I hate discrimination so much I still can see why they discriminate people.
Today I found this article in Jawa Pos (yesterday edition) and I think this is so true:
"Penggunaan logika dosa-bencana sebaiknya didasarkan kepada prinsip kehati-hatian, setidaknya untuk menghindari dua hal. Tanpa disadari, manusia, kata Erich Fromm, bermetamorfosis menjadi Tuhan. Manusia melakukan tindakan tertentu yang seharusnya menjadi otoritas Tuhan."
This is absolutely right. Who are you to condemn other people? Who are you to say that people deserve to suffer because they must be sinners? Let them see it themselves. You are NOT God. You can't see if beneath the hostility they show they have hospitality or not. You can't see behind what your eyes catch. You have no right to judge people that harsh. You can judge people, of course, after all we're only human. But we have to try to minimize it. Of course we're allowed to give our opinion about something, but try to differ giving opinions with downright judging something.
For example, Jogja's earthquake. We can say that, "Oh, MAYBE they've done something bad. I hope they can introspect themselves." But we mustn't judge them, "They MUST have done something horrible! Therefore, they ARE sinners and I won't help them."
Same with my not liking RUU APP in the least. I said it's downright stupid, I hate it, but I don't say, "You'll go to hell if you do that." I really think that the people who sent smses telling, "If you don't legalize RUU APP right now you'll be the first person to go to hell." is the one who should check themselves. Who are you to condemn people like that? Remember, you're just HUMAN. You don't know what God thinks. And you're very possibly wrong.
I think some of God's intention had been wrongly interpreted by human, you know. Like AIDS. Maybe initially God created that disease to warn people who used drugs, and maybe also to remind people how short their lives really are so that they'll cherish everyday. But human misinterpreted it as a disease for gays. But AIDS isn't only a gay disease. In fact it's even easier to spread among heterosexual couples if said sexually. But the number of gays with AIDS increased dramatically because many of them, like how people like to imagine them, are druggers, bohemians, homelesses, and even criminals. Some of the reasons they're like that, though, is people-at-large's fault, for they're failed to accept gays in the society. Of course, some of the reasons are their own faults, for gays are just like ordinary people. They're not just victims. Some of them also had choices and they chose the wrong choice.
I'm pretty flexible about things and I even know that I've done the same mistakes with other people in judging something. I know that I used my OWN judgment as my standard too many times. But I still use my heart too and that makes me see that nothing is absolutely right or wrong. Even though I hate discrimination so much I still can see why they discriminate people.
Today I found this article in Jawa Pos (yesterday edition) and I think this is so true:
"Penggunaan logika dosa-bencana sebaiknya didasarkan kepada prinsip kehati-hatian, setidaknya untuk menghindari dua hal. Tanpa disadari, manusia, kata Erich Fromm, bermetamorfosis menjadi Tuhan. Manusia melakukan tindakan tertentu yang seharusnya menjadi otoritas Tuhan."
This is absolutely right. Who are you to condemn other people? Who are you to say that people deserve to suffer because they must be sinners? Let them see it themselves. You are NOT God. You can't see if beneath the hostility they show they have hospitality or not. You can't see behind what your eyes catch. You have no right to judge people that harsh. You can judge people, of course, after all we're only human. But we have to try to minimize it. Of course we're allowed to give our opinion about something, but try to differ giving opinions with downright judging something.
For example, Jogja's earthquake. We can say that, "Oh, MAYBE they've done something bad. I hope they can introspect themselves." But we mustn't judge them, "They MUST have done something horrible! Therefore, they ARE sinners and I won't help them."
Same with my not liking RUU APP in the least. I said it's downright stupid, I hate it, but I don't say, "You'll go to hell if you do that." I really think that the people who sent smses telling, "If you don't legalize RUU APP right now you'll be the first person to go to hell." is the one who should check themselves. Who are you to condemn people like that? Remember, you're just HUMAN. You don't know what God thinks. And you're very possibly wrong.
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