Tuesday, January 20, 2009

My Favorite Couples (Lesbian Style)

I know I must be crazy that I post this at 5 in the morning when I should be sleeping. But i just can't help it. I have to, even if only the pictures. I'll add some comentaries tomorrow, just stay tune.

1. The Eternal Couple : Xena and Gabrielle

This are the couple that first changed me from a homophobic into a lesbian... uhm... joking. :p Yeah, I was a homophobic once, that's what I was taught at school, in my community, and in my circle of friends. But then I watched Xena on TV, and then I searched for her in the internet. As you probably know, the majority of Xenites in the internet are lesbians, and of course the subtext! At first I was a little disturbed by that, but then I REALLY watched the interaction between Xena and Gabrielle and realized where the fans got those subtext. And it's not disgusting. It's beautiful cause it's about a love that is stronger than heaven and earth. It's a love that couldn't be separated even by death. It's a love that is ready to sacrifice everything. It's what soulmate is all about. I can't even describe the strength of that love. It never ceases to amaze me, even now, 8 years after the series has ended. That's why in my eyes they are the eternal couple. It was proven that they find and love each other all over again, in any lifetime, in any kind of world, even after the gods and fates tried their best to separate them. Of course it's fiction, but don't you want to find a love just like that?

2. The Ever After Couple : Melissa and Tammy Etheridge

Aaaah, my favorite 'real' couple ever! First of all, just look at them! I've never seen Melissa look that happy and shiny before she met Tammy. Anything that can make that drastic of a change to someone - for the better - must be reallllly good. Second of all, they don't live more than 2000 years ago (like Xena and Gabrielle, wakakak). I can relate to them and their problems much better. Of course, as real people, I don't know their whole story, and I refuse to stalk them. :p Luckily, Melissa's all about truth and openess, plus Tammy has her own public blog, so I get a glimpse of their life together, and dammit, it's what I want in my life. I won't settle for less. Someone to come home to, someone to build a cozy home with, someone to raise kids with... and most importantly, the home is filled with love, trust, respect. A corny romantism every now and then wouldn't hurt, and I think a good sense of humor is very important. If they ever break up, I think I would re-think my belief in 'a happy ever after and a love that last forever'. They are my perfect example of a life happily ever after, and all the more the reason to name them the ever after couple: they have a sign with 'Our ever after' in their home.

Oops... I'm sorry, I just have no control whatsoever when it comes to this couple... hehehehe. OK, next!

3. The Golden Couple : Gro Hammerseng and Katja Nyberg

Cuteness is my ultimate weakness. Heheh. And dammit, how cute is these two women together? They are the members of Norwegian female handball team, the team that has just won in Beijing Olympics 2008. Gro is the team captain, and in her best Katja is a major scorer. Anyway I find it so cool and cute that they are partners both in and out the fields. No wonder I call them the golden couple, eh? I don't know much about them cause they're a bit private, but still you can tell just by how they interact with each other, by how long they hug in celebration of their winning (lol), by how often they mention each other in interviews... etc. Funny thing is that their fans are divided into camp Gro and camp Katja and they fought for which one they think is hotter. :D I'm totally in camp Oreo, a group that think their togetherness is the best and we can't decide who is hotter as we can't decide which part of Oreo is better. Haha.

4. The Classic Couple : Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi

Personally, I don't really have any special feeling toward this pair, but they worth every mention. The most obvious reason is because Ellen is a legend on her own, and I have the ultimate respect for her. She is the woman who makes history and she is the strongest and bravest person I've ever known, period. How many people who lost their lover can make a joke out of the experience and make people laugh? How many people that after being backlashed and being left by the person they love the most can bounce back even higher than ever? Until now she continues to amaze me with her groundbreaking strides. Her marriage to her girlfriend, her amazing look at the age of 51, and her polite, smart, and humorous political talks. I don't know much about Portia, but from what I know, she's quite a smart and strong lady on her own, and I'm happy for them, and it only makes me happier that they become such a good representation of lesbian couples in public's eyes.

There are many more couples I want to mention here, especially the couples who've been together for so many years (by so many years I mean, 34, 52, 60, etc) without being able to get married. There are other real and fictional couples too that I like, but for the real people I think I have no right to post their pictures (they're not really celebrities so I can't just take the pictures from their myspaces and post here, can I?) and for the fictional characters besides X&G... well, I just feel that they're fictional - so might as well post only the best fictional couple. Haha.

For me personally, I have some criterias of being a good couple. First is how they look when they are together. You just can't cover that kind of radiant happiness. Second is how they interact with each other, how familiar they are with each other and the simple gestures of affection they show (although I really don't like an overly done PDA). Third is how they complement each other's strengths and how they complete each other's weaknesses. Simple, really. I like a very ordinary couple. Couples who try to live their lives the most boring way possible. Hehe. Of course I can't see all those things in a real couple that I don't know personally, cause I don't know their real lives. I just judge based on what I see and what I hear. In fictional characters, though, I can tell it very easily.

Anyway, some may just suggest me to quit drolling over others' relationship and mind my own life. Problem is, love isn't something you can chase after. Nothing I can do, no amount of effort can give me the kind of love that I want. And for now, I haven't found it, so why can't I enjoy others' sharing of their relationships' stories/photos? Hahaha. I'm not a freak, I promise.

So, who are your favorite couples? Not limited to lesbians only, of course. ;)

The Gay Thingy

Oookay. I'm getting irritated by the never-ending debate surrounding being gay and gay marriage. Let's try summonning it all up.

1. Being gay

Con: It's a choice/lifestyle/preference.
Pro: It's not. If it's a choice, who would choose being discriminated against and not being able to married, always being seen as a sinner or an abnormal? Or when exactly did you choose to be a heterosexual?

Con: It's abnormal/unnatural.
Pro: If it's unnatural then please explain why are there so many species in animal world that have homosexual pairings? It's not possible that they can 'choose' their lifestyle either, is it?

Con: Male and female body parts fit together, male-male or female-female don't.
Pro: Let me just quote someone from some forum: "As a retired reproductive physiologist I can speak with scientific authority that there is a biological/physiological basis for homosexuality. Period."

Con: "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them." The bible says so.
Pro: First of all, as lesbians are not mentioned, lesbianism is okay but gay men are not? Second of all, if a gay man has never lieth with a woman, so it's okay, isn't it? Third of all, are you gonna kill gay people in random? What kind of person are you? Last but not least, read Deuteronomy 21:18-21, bring your inobidient son to the city hall and stone him to death first, okay?

Con: Gay coupling can never procreate.
Pro: God creates heterosexuals to procreate so that humans can fill up the earth. I think now He cretes homosexuals so that the earth is not overcrowded, ask Chinese people.

2. Gay Marriage

Con: Marriage has been between a man and a woman since the beginning of time.
Pro: So untrue. It used to be a man and many women, it used to be a man who possesed his wife, it used to be a man and a woman of the same race. In my country it has to be a man and a woman of the same religion too.

Con: Gay people has civil union.
Pro: First of all, the rights granted under the civil union don't cover all of the rights granted under marriage. Second of all, being able to get civil-unioned and not being able to get married is equal but different. Remember when black people have to be seated on the back of the bus? Both black people and white people had the same right to ride the bus, they only had to sit on different seats. If it's okay, then why was there a change made about that?

Con: The word 'marriage' belongs to church.
Pro: Church has its own term for it: holy matrimony. Besides, this isn't about religion, it's about civil rights. It'll be okay too if both heterosexual and homosexual people can get civil-unioned only, then if heterosexual people want to get married they can be married in church.

Con: Legalizing gay marriage is the same as accepting gay behavior and by accepting such a sinful behavior God may give the country punishment.
Pro: Well, the last time I checked, Canada and Netherlands are still intact and okay.

Con: Gay marriage threatens straight marriage.
Pro: In what way? Gay marriage isn't a threat for straight marriage. Divorce is.

Con: If gay marriage is legal then some churches will be forced to perform gay marriage.
Pro: What for? Don't flatter yourself. There are many other churches that are willing to perform gay marriages, why do we have to force some churches that aren't?

Bottom line is, gay people have been here since thousands of years ago - without being able to procreate. Even if they have children, there's no telling if the children are going to be straight or gay. If God doesn't want gay people to exist then He should stop creating them.

About gay marriage, love is love. Since when does love become so hard to comprehend? Do you love your husband/wife? Then you should understand how gay couple feel about each other. Furthermore, how can two other people being married, or even divorced, give effects to your own marriage? If your marriage is affected by other people getting married or divorced, then there must have been something wrong in your marriage at the first place.

And if you don't believe in gay marriage, then don't marry people of the same sex. Simple, isn't it? Any furher question?

Friday, January 16, 2009


I've just written a new song, called 'Home'. It sounds pretty good if I say so myself. Hehe. It's not so often that I write a song I actually like. Well, the inspiration this time is from Rose of Versailles. The translation of the anime's closing song. It's a beautiful song from Andre's point of view, about how he suffered from his love to Oscar. I used the translation for the first two lines of my song: "If loving you is to suffer/ then by your side I will stay/ until it reaches your heart someday." It wasn't exactly like that in the translation, but whatever. And there's a reference to light-shadow relationship Oscar and Andre shared. But the part I like most is the reffrain. I don't know since when the song transforms into my own feelings and my idea of 'the one'. It goes like this:

Baby can't you see
I may not be the best there is
I can only offer you my heart
And a vow for never be apart
You are the life
I've been searching forever
Somewhere to rest my mind
And a place to call home

Granted, I'm not a good lyricist, but there's something about these lines that I like. Maybe because it's what I really feel. I always feel like I'm not good enough for someone to love me. Well, and my idea of a romantic relationship is someone to build a home with - I'm never into love adventures. If the first person I'm in a relationship with is the last one, I'll be perfectly happy.

By the way, talking about lyric, dammit, sometimes Melissa's lyric can practically knocks me out to heaven. I don't know where that comes from, but I've never even read a poem quite that passionate and beautiful. For example:

I've crept into your temple, I have slept upon your pew
I have dreamed of the divinity inside and out of you
I want it more than truth
I could taste it on my breath
I would give my life just for a little, little death

The sexiness!!! The angelic imaginary! The irony! The hidden meaning! Dammit. Using her own word, I would like to express how I feel about her:

Angels never came down
There's no one here they wanna hang around
But if they knew, if they knew you at all
Then one by one
The angels, angels would fall

She's a genius in lyric, dammit. I've never read anything that could make me go, "Whoaah!!!" like her "I am kneeling on the altar in the temple of your eyes" line. It's really passionate to the point of being overly dramatic - but so suitable to her style and to rock and roll. Of course, being the playfully sexy woman that she is, she never fails to make me blush after realizing some hidden meaning in her lyrics...

I wanna stay here in this moment
Can I quietly slip into you
You and I can stay here in this moment
Let the world fade away, I just wanna stay with you

And this line made me literally drop my jaw:

With her toys, like the boys, she is second to none

Dammit. Nuff said.

Other brilliant example of her genius is how she wrote some songs exclusively for the concert audiences and interacted with them. "Good Girls and Boys" is very good, love it.

"But it was always rock and roll, and there is never really any other choice. So now I stand here and play everyday for the good girls and boys."

But "Not Tonight" is even better! The first time I heard it sung (I watched it from youtube, actually), I laughed out loud. Just when I thought I couldn't love her more!

"Oh my sweet friends, speak true, be strong
Keep on believing we are right where we belong
You know I'd love to sing you just one more song.... (pause)"
(Audience applauded and screamed)
"...but not tonight, not tonight (Audience: "Awwwwwwwwww!!!")"

She wrote the most romantic lyrics too. Both crazy-stalker love and marriage love. Example for crazy stalker:

I would dial the number just to listen to your breath
And I would stand inside my hell and hold the hand of death

Well, and this one is even more crazy stalkery:

I know you're home, you left your light on
You know I'm here, the night is thin
I know you're alone
I watched the car leave
Your lover is gone
Let me in

Ahaha. It's from the song "I Want To Come Over", and the reffrain is like this: "I wanna come over, to hell with the consequences." But some of the fans think it was "I wanna come over, to hell with the concert plans." When you listen to the record, it actually does sound a bit like that. Lol.

Okay, now the marriage-love. You know, any lyrics that actually make me think of Xena and Garbrielle - and their love, a love that I believe is the greatest love of all - can be categorized as very romantic. And how can you blame me for thinking of Xena and Gabrielle when I listened to this:

Were we lovers in the army marching off for Rome
Side by side in the battle, did we bravely leave our home
Did I hold you in my arms, as you were taking your last breath
Did I shout to all the gods, I would love you beyond that
Or more... I swear I've loved you before

From the first time I heard that song, I'd had Xena and Gabrielle on my mind, especially that she wrote 'gods', not 'God', you know. Of course, some of her fans actually thought it was 'Did I shout to all the guards', which doesn't make sense and makes the song faaaaaar less romantic. But even the main verse, in which she talks about the here and now of her love story, it's very romantic in its simplicity.

When I think of how you know me, no doubts no thinking twice
When your smile can be so soothing, a familiar paradise
When there's no one else that makes me whole
I am never needing more
I get this feeling
That I have loved you before

Ahhh... the bliss of marriage life. She once shared that with her ex-partner, and she managed to write ONE very romantic song about that relationship. Well, the lyric is very romantic (and very smart), but that song is not a favorite of mine... I like the romantic songs she wrote after-Julie better. The song is called 'Sleep' and it has three verses. The first one is about them going to sleep after making love. The second one is about them going to 'sleep' after building a home of their dream. And the third one is about them going to their last 'sleep'. Each verse is followed by the reffrain, which, of course, is telling about how she would love to go to 'sleep'. I love the third verse. It's very very romantic.

After the light in my eyes are fading
When running water becomes too deep
Finally angels turn my fire to dust
And when my soul's no longer mine to keep

I wanna lay down on your shoulder, just inside your arm
I wanna listen to your heartbeat, and your breathing on and on
I wanna lay down on your shoulder, surrender to your peace
And go to sleep

Another romantic songs? Well, it was the one written before she met Tammy - and Tammy is actually in the video! How cool do the fates work?

In front of total strangers won't you kiss me
Flowers for no reason but you miss me
Oh, I want to be in love

I'm looking for a heart of gold, I'm looking for a hand to hold
A happy end, strong and kind, somewhere to rest my troubled mind

On Tuesday night light the candles bring me wine
Wednesday morning I won't get to work on time
Oh, I want to be in love

Surprise me as I'm stepping off the plane
Take my hand as they play our song again
Oh, I want to be in love

And her lyrics seem to have some kind of prediction power on its own. After she wrote 'I Want To Be In Love', she did find love. And in a funny way, I think the lyric of Lucky kinda made her have the breast cancer, cause she wanted to know 'How lucky Lucky can be'. Hehe. But also the lyric in 'This Moment':

Now the heavens have less, cause I've found the best
And I won't let them take you away
Tell the angels they just have to wait

They just have to wait, indeed, because between Melissa and Tammy, 'This Is Not Goodbye':

Bravely you let go of my hand, I can't speak yet you understand
Where I go now I go alone
This path I walk these days of stone
And the angels are calling

All of my strength all my desire
Still cannot melt this breath of fire
I go to meet some kind of test
Bury the truth that scars my chest
And the angels are calling and calling and calling

I must go away, wait for me here, silently staying
And don't ask me why
Only believe
This is not goodbye

Ah, I just love this woman so much, and seriously, do you not understand why? Haha. I hope one day I can write a song worthy to be sung by her (hey, a girl can dream - and who knows - the universe will listen). She inspires me in so many ways and dammit if I can't prove I don't waste those inspirations.

I can still write about her for hours, you see, I haven't even discussed about her brilliant 'Tuesday Morning', 'Scarecrow', 'Silent Legacy', 'Testify', 'Giant', 'Christmas In America', and her other 'political' songs. I haven't discussed about her wisdom and courage in writing 'Open Your Mind', 'Kingdom of Heaven', and 'The Universe Listened'. Oh I will blog about those songs too... but not tonight, not tonight. :D

Saturday, January 10, 2009

One Heck of A Group

Damn, Sid and CP, I can't believe I haven't blogged about this. Haha.

It's funny rite, that years ago we're drawn together by rank in class (and comic-drawing thing), and now after all this time we're drawn back together by... well, sexuality. Like what I wrote in your blog yeaaaaaaaaaaaars ago, Sid, isn't it funny that we went separate ways and then found out that we went through similar things anyway. I remember writing that comment on your blog after I read your post and read in CP's friendster that he would like to have friends from any bla bla bla and any sexual orientation. At that time I only thought that, "Oh, he must have got a gay friend or something. It's a good thing that he's really open-minded." :D

Then I got the offline message Sid sent me and to say I was surprised is an understatement. Damn! My gaydar sucks! But it's the opening I needed. I wanted to come out to Sid since I read his blog post, but I thought it wasn't necessary because he seemed to have settled himself as heterosexual. So, well, I came out to him - only to find out that he's now settled as a bisexual. Damn again. What a group we have. Gay, lesbian, bisexual, and... well, I'm pretty sure Git and Li are straight, but I almost wish that one of them is trans or asexual... just to complete the spectrum! :D

Just imagine all of us coming out to our parents... oh boy. I don't even wanna imagine that just yet, but I think it may be a good thing. They can support each other so that they don't feel so alone, rite? Hehe.

Anyway, I'm happy that this pulls us closer once again. I don't know about you guys and Git and Li, but I haven't kept in touch with all of you except for our reunion years ago. Oh, and the IMs with Sid recently. It's funny that when I was in Indonesia I talked to him less than now, when we're in two different continents. Heh heh. Hey, maybe you should add me to your YM too, PC? (I still like PC better than CP. It's your last name's initial, remember?)

So, see you guys when I'm home and for the time being, keep in touch, ok. ;)

The Backlash

Whoa! Melissa has got a pretty bad backlash, or so it seems from this one website I've just read. She was almost called a traitor. Mostly she was called stupid or naive.

Well, I never associate Melissa with 'smart' much - not because she isn't smart, but because she's so much more 'wise' than smart. Smart people think with their head, wise people think with both their head and their heart. Wise people don't judge quickly. Wise people will hold on to what they believe until the fact says otherwise.

My point is, looking at something positively can be dumb, can be called naive, but it's actually the wise thing to do. This world is dark enough, it takes a greater mind to see a bit of light in that darkness. I don't trust Warren, but I admire Melissa to be willing to talk to him, to defend him in public, even, though from what I got, she was asking the public to start with peace, to build a conversation instead of yelling at each other. Many people got that that she was saying that Warren is harmless. I don't think she trusts Warren 100% either, but she wants to be in a positive side, being friendly with him and just try to open his eyes by showing him her own life.

I may get backlashes too for saying this, but I think LGBT group is the most sensitive and unstable group ever. The group is much too diverse. There's absolutely nothing at all to connect us besides the fact that we like people from the same sex (or both, or we feel like we're in a wrong body). It's like putting together heterosexual people randomly. In Melissa's forum, I see so much more similarities than in regular lesbian forum. Oh there are lots of disagreements too, but there's always someone to step in and remind everyone to stay polite, cool, and logical. It's Melissa's site, for goodness sake, and she has always been talking about love, truth, and peace, so it's a given that people who love her and her music should follow that, rite?

I can't really blame anyone if a large part of gay community is filled with angry people. For too long we've been opressed, been the victims of hatred and been condemned for something we have no control over. We're being treated unfair everyday, being bullied at school, being thrown away from home, being fired from jobs, being jailed, tortured, killed... and even when we live nicely and contribute so much to society, we don't even have the same rights as our neighbors - the right to marry. But as Xena said, it takes a greater strength to show compassion. It doesn't mean holding back all the anger, but to change the angry energy to something more positive, like writing a blog or a book or a song or painting a picture... whatever. Create something to tell the story. Condemning everyone who has a different opinion from you won't make the world any better. Throwing everyone with a good, decent intention out just because they're a little too soft and don't march down the road with guns and knives... and speaking angry words. I bet if Melissa were condemning Warren out loud, if she refused to even meet her or shake his hand, if she slapped him in front of public, refused to attend Obama's inauguration or stopped her support for Obama, people would cheer her on. But for her to try to understand Obama's intention and give Warren a chance, it's unforgivable to some people, isn't it? Well here's my personal opinion. I don't mind with giving Obama a chance, he's been in the office for only a few months for goodness sake! But if time passes and he shows no change, then I'll cheer Ellen or Melissa - two of the politest people I know - to remind him of his promises back in the days. About Warren, hasn't Tammy stated it clearly in her blog? I agree with her 100%. She and Melissa have given him a chace. They have give out their hands to him and offer him a way to understanding. They've done the right thing, the peace-and-loving thing Melissa preaches in her own 'congegration' (which actually, I'd be more disappointed in her if she failed to do what she preached herself... that's why I prefer she did what she did). The rest is up to Warren himself.

Ps. Still, kudos to Ellen for thanking her 'roommate' Portia when accepting her People Choice's award this week!