Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Some of My Songs... and The Story Behind

I made this song months ago:
"There's no many things I can do
There's no many things that I'm proud of
But when it comes to loving you
I give it my all
Cause you've brought out the best in me, to do the impossible
You're my source, my strength
My one right cause to fight
So don't just let me go, cause I'm the one for you
I can be the woman of your dream
I can be someone that you deserve
I can be someone you won't forget all your life
I can be the sun in your sky
I can be the light of your way
If you give me a chance to love you."

--- This song was made when I felt like I've done everything yet she still ignores me.---

I wrote this song several days ago:
"It's been a year since you've gone, I know I count the days
Now it's the time for you to come home
I wonder if you've changed, I know I'm not the same
But no matter what, you'll be beautiful in my eyes
I regret the day I let you walk away
Without knowing what I felt in my heart
So this time I beg you
Please listen to what I'll say
So finally you will know that
I miss you, I need you to be here with me, never ever to leave again
Cause I know I'll be bad without you
I miss you, I need you in my life
It scares me but I know it's true
I can't live without you, I must say
I need you."

--- This song was made when I was missing her... and I wanted her home soon.---

I wrote this song on Monday, August 14th 2006:
"I dreamed of you, just a short dream
But it stays long in my mind
Coz I have missed you so
And now you come back in my sight
It's a shame if this dream won't come true
In my dream, you kissed me
What I wouldn't give or do to make it real
In my dream, you kissed me
I hope that you'll do the same to me someday."

--- Now, guess what happened to me that day! Clue: The lyric for this song is entirely true.---

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Coffee and Tea and Ryan's Family (?!)

The most intriguing question for me, hm? Guess what!

It's 'Coffee or tea?'

I love both beverages almost the same, as long as they both are the same level of good. Okay, I know very little about coffee, just theoritically. But I'm learning about tea right now... from comic. Heh heh. 'Prince of Tea', if you're interested. Like it a lot.Okay, forget the coffee and tea for a while, coz I won't write about how to brew coffee or tea this time. Heh heh.

This is mostly about my family. I think it's time for me to write something about them. Before, I just don't want people to identify me, but what the heck. It doesn't take a Sherlock Holmes to tell that it's me. Anyone who knows me well enough to know who's my idol will recognize me in a minute. Besides, my family is such an important part in my life that I can't imagine not including them at all in this little universe of mine.

Hmmm... where to start? My family's just a usual family, with five members now, including my grandmother. My parents are equal partners in our little shop, though my mom rules a bit more. We're pretty liberal in the matter of religions, for there are three religions for our five members. Well, if I can write in ID card that I'm Agnostic, that will make it four. Heh. I've a younger sister who's cute in front of everyone else but changes into a little monster everytime we're alone. Doesn't change my love for her, though. Lol.

Well, when it comes to my subject of study, I can't say I'm as lucky as Nao. Nao's family knows a lot about health so it helps with her major, but unfortunately my family doesn't know even the correct table manner, let alone anything about wine. Lol. Heck, they don't even know English - except my lil sis, of course. I often wonder if I've entered the wrong world. Heh heh. Dunno, I just enjoy it (plus, entering that world gives me a chance to meet a special lady. Heh heh).

My mom is the best mother in the world, I must say. She works really hard for all of us, and she survives all the years of dealing with my grandmother (believe me, you'll worship my mother if you know my grandmother. It takes a saint to put up with her!), to serve my father (my family's pretty conventional in the household, meaning that my father takes care of bills, mechanical troubles, vehicles, plants, and my mother cooks, supervising any helpers (I don't know why, I don't like the word 'servant') we have, preparing my dad's clothes, taking care of social events, taking care of the children, etc, etc.), to face with my rebellions (I have to admit I'm no help for her... :< ), to face my sis' mood-change, and of course, taking care of our shop. Plus, she's a great cook. What else could you want for a mother? Lol. No wonder she's the most important person for me in the world.

My dad, on the other hand, is probably the one I respect the most. He's very very very silent. But I never questioned his intellegence. Such a waste that he's only junior high graduate. I even respect him more for coping up with the fact that his wife is better educated from him. And never ever I'm not proud of him. There can be millions of college graduates, masters, phd.s, doctors, but how many of them has the compassion my father has? How many of them has his dedication to his family, his never-ever-complain rule for himself, his loving heart, and his helping hand to those less fortunate than him? He's the only son sticking to my grandparents and serve them without ever complaining about his other brothers who live separately and much more wealthy than him, still my grandmother complains a lot about him and often treats him too hard. It really needs a greater strength to show compassion. All my life never once I heard him complained about anything at all. Not about his not-functioning-so-well-anymore hands, not about my grandmother, not about his disease, not about his children, not about anything at all. And by the way, he has so many skills no other man I know can compare. And though he's not formally educated, he educated himself so well that he knows a lot of useful things in life, a lot of pracical knowledge, and in short, though he doesn't know difficult words, he knows things about as much as a college gradutes. His motto in life? "Be hard to yourself and be kind to others."

Well, I can't say much about my grandmother, coz we really don't get along well at all. We love each other in a 'I love you but I hate you' kind of way. But she's great and admired by many people. Can you imagine a 70s-year-old lady getting up on a jet-coaster??? Not exactly a jet coaster, but kind of the same. She's almost 90 and she still has a mind as sharp as a shark's teeth, and a healthy body that makes a doctor shook his head in wonder. She still hangs out with her friends, goes out often, well, not differ much with a 40s-year-old women. Oh, and she knows more about cars than even my male relatives who are not a car salesman. I kinda believe that she'll even outlive me. Lol.

Now, my sis. She's smart. Really smart. But she chooses not to use her brain by study hard. She's changed now, due to my mom's everyday effort. But still, she only focuses in thing she's interested in, not the whole subjects. In a way she's much more talented from me, especially in creativity. It's just that we expertise in different things. I'm more in music and art and writing, and she's more in handcraft and actually she's good in art but different art than mine, and in inventing creative things. I often feel that she follows my path too often, that sometimes she adapts my bad characteristics, too. Well, but she's a cute sister (in front of other people, that's it) and I won't change her even for Lucy Lawless (that's saying a lot!). Lol.

My other main family includes my late grandpa and my late aunt. My aunt died when I was five. She had a lot of skills in music, handcrafting, art, and languages. She was a piano and organ teacher (though she could play guitar, too), tourist guide, and handcrafting teacher (I don't really know about this). She also cooked well. Best of all, as far as I remember it, she was like the second mother to me. My late grandpa was a headmaster somewhere in the past, before he opened the shop we have now with my grandma, who was once his student (ow, so romantic!). He was an athlete too, and he only showed a sign of disease when he was 80. He overcame his diseases for more than ten years, since he died on the age of 93. Such a long, fulfilled life, I must say, and he's a great inspiration for all of us, family. By the way, his family is kinda cool, too bad we're not hanging around often with them, because they live in different city. They are so solid, and fun, and... well, cool. They marched together at a restaurant, they made a yahoo group for our family, etc, etc. Cool, really.

Hm... in short I love my family so much, just that I don't show it often. We're all the sit-on-feelings kind of people, so we're not used to hug or kiss or say 'I love you' to each other, but each of us is well aware that we're loved (from a simple gesture like a helping hand when needed, a tap on the back to show support, the jokes and laughs we share) and what more can I want?

Then it comes to the title question: coffee or tea? WORK, OR FAMILY? They're rather alike. Work is like coffee for me. They have strong flavor that makes you either love it or hate it. They make you stay awake at night, and they make you feel the prestige of being an adult. Tea and family, on the other hand, have a sweet, claming flavor that is suitable for adult and children. They do make you stay awake, but not as strongly as coffee do. They make you feel calm and content, easily makes you relax just with their presence.

I'm the type of person who thinks the world of my family. My friends and my teachers say that when you are interviewed for job, when asked 'work or family' I must answer 'work', because it will make me acceptable more. But isn't that really a lie? Who in their right mind would go to work still when there's a death in the family? When it comes to emergency, everyone would turn to their family, fuck with the job. I mean, we are adults, we should be able to make a line between our private and professional life. If the question asked is an example, like when you have a family reunion when there's a meeting at the office, or something like that, I can answer it truthfully. After all, I'm sure I can make the right decision when I face the problem. For me family and work complements each other. I need work to have enough money to provide my family and I need my family to support me in the job I do. I can't choose one over another, it's depended on the situation. Granted, I haven't had a job, but as a student doubling with organization I've learned a lot about priorities. I'm sure I can choose the right decision, even if I have to sacrifice my want.

So, don't ask me 'coffee or tea' (unless in a job interview, coz I have no choice but answer it, lol) coz I'll only smile and pass you by.