Thursday, April 15, 2010

So, What Is Love Then?

It literally felt like a punch in the gut. I can't believe this is happening.

Of all the many couples in celebrity world I always believed in them, since the first time I saw them. I had total faith in their love, although a small voice in the back of my head warned me never to trust any public profiles completely, you never knew what happened when they got home. I thought I could hear it in her songs... they're getting better and happier. Figured that in a relationship if there's only one party being happy, it's not enough. I don't know who's right or wrong, but isn't it too soon, deciding to quit now? Based on Tammy's blog, their problem only started December or so. There are four children at stakes, and two of them had gone through a divorce once, they don't need another one. Having three or four mommies can still be cool, but five or six?! Dang.

It's not my place to judge them, I know. But it feels so personal to me cause I looked up to them so much. Looking at them together gave me insight what true love was like, and a hope that I could find someone who complemented me as much as they were to each other. I used to sing 'Sleep' thinking that she imagined someone much like Tammy when she wrote it. I sang 'This Moment' thinking about the days they were dating. And oh damn, 'When You Find The One', 'I've Loved You Before', even 'Threesome'. Those songs have my memories in them as well, not just theirs. And I'm truly saddened beyond words that now the break up is official. First Jodie and Cydney, then Rossie and Kelly, now my favorite couple of them all. Damn.

Well, still life goes on. For them and for me. I wish all the best for them, I still love them and heck I care about them. Luckily I also still believe in true love, though I have to admit right now I'm a little bit too pessimistic and bitter about love. Lucky and Angel... my thoughts and prayers for both of you. May you find the happiness that you seek later in life.

So what is love then, is it dictated or chosen?
Does it sing like hymns or a thousand years or is it just pop emotion?
And if it was ever there and it left, doesn't mean it was never true...

Ah well, now I have to put my faith back to the everlasting couple... just cause I know their love really doesn't have an ending. :D

Thursday, April 08, 2010

God Bless Us Everyone

Let the stars in the sky remind us of men's compassion
Let us love till we die, and God bless us everyone

In your heart there's a light as bright as the stars in heaven
Let it shine through the night, and God bless us everyone

Till each child is fed, till all men are free
Till the world becomes a family

Star by star in the sky and kindness by human's kindness
Let me love till I die, and God bless us everyone

It seems that these few days I read and watch a lot of stories that makes me think of humanity. In a good way, and sadly, in a bad way. People are funny creatures. They can be angels and they can be demons, and sometimes, one person can be both. I have no idea, though, what runs through people's mind when they do horrible things to others. Disaster by natural causes (hurricane, earthquake, tsunami, volcano eruption, etc) are horrible enough, but it's the power of mother earth, one which no one person on earth could overcome. It's sad, but it's natural. Death by people with murderous intentions, however, even sadder to me. Especially one that is based on nothing but fear of differences. It can also mean fear of the change that people with different point of view would bring. This one most commonly found within political or religious organizations.

I've just read 'Totto-chan's Children' by Tetsuko Kuroyanagi. The story followed Ms. Kuroyanagi (Totto-chan)'s journey as an ambassador for UNICEF. I was deeply moved in the earlier chapters when she went to Africa and India, where the state of living was waaaaaaaaay beyond our imagination. Starvation and dehydration were so horrible that children's organs started to die one by one before they finally died. I'm sad to hear that there are so many people, especially children, who had to live such life. What's the point to be born in the first place if they couldn't be fed and then died so soon? But it's in those places that wonderful things happened. Things that reminded me of the beauty of human's soul. Even when they were thirsty beyond reason, when they found water, it's the youngest children who got to drink first. Even when they had nothing, when there were 'guests', they tried their best to be hospitable and walked almost 10 km to get water (the brown-colored kind, of course) for those strangers. And even though their bodies stop functioning, their heart apparently not, cause they still had enough compassion to wish happiness for a stranger.

But there are other places, where food and water are plenty, and yet the people are still not happy. A place where one wrong step could end your life - literally. Mine bombs are everywhere, men are killed, women are raped, children had to work hard and were tortured. In my eyes it's the worse place to be. This was done by men, not by nature. They also led a short, hard life, but unlike their starving friends, these children had no happiness. Their hearts are forever damaged, having to watch so many blood shed by other mankind. They knew hatred, fear, and despair far too soon in their lives. I simply cannot even begin to understand, how could a man put a bomb inside of a doll, so that when the little girl hug it, it exploded? How could grown-up men cut babies' and children's arms and feet for nothing, and left them to die? What the hell is the point in doing so? Even when they survived, those children became handicapped for no reason at all. That's insanity. To think that people are capable of that kind of evil, I do fear people more than ghosts.

Other bad news came more recently, and not as horrible, but maybe worth a thought, and definitely worth telling. Anybody already heard of Constance McMillen? I watched her on Ellen sometime ago, and I thought things would go better for her. Wrong. Well, the story started simple. Constance wanted to go to prom with her girlfriend and she asked the school to allow her to wear tuxedo. The school would not let her wear tux and would only allowed them to go if they go separately and don't dance and not be affectionate with each other during the prom (but so what's the point in going if they can't be together the whole evening?). So Constance went a great length to plead her case and the school canceled the prom for EVERYBODY. And guess who became the black sheep for the whole picture? The gay kid, of course. But then celebrities took notice, and everyone tried their best to support her, even offering her a prom of her own. Well, with all the highlights I think some good things would come to her, rite? Nooooooo. Just last week she was invited to a fake prom. Because the school wouldn't take their words back, the students' parents sponsored a prom for their children, and Constance was invited. Only... when she showed up, there were only six or seven other kids there. The others were at another place, the 'real' prom. It's sad, and it's cruel on some level. First of all, if only the school would recognize diversity, the whole hulla-balloo wouldn't have happened in the first place. Second of all, better not inviting her than inviting her to a fake prom. Third of all, the other kids at the fake prom are the 'unpopular' ones, two of them are children with 'learning difficulties'. Well, well, well. Now who's the evil one here? Is there really not one among the students or the parents who realized what they were doing is wrong?

And today, I watched 'My Name Is Khan'. I've been wanting to see that movie for some time now. The story is beautiful, and I kinda developed a crush on Mandira, but that's beside the point. :D I love the teaching of Khan's mother. "There are good people who do good things and bad people who do bad things. Besides that, there are no differences." But I have an addition. You see, in many teachings, there are opposites. Yin and yang, good and bad, day and night... but the way I see it, everything has three sides instead of two. Expand that a little bit more and maybe you'll get four. There are good people, there are bad people, and there are people who do nothing. Shamefully in many cases I'm included in the third category. I hope it's because I'm young and lack of confidence, purpose, and direction, not because I'm too lazy to do something. Doing nothing is not a crime, it's not a bad thing, but it certainly isn't good either. Watching this movie reminded me of Matthew Shepard so badly. He was also a victim of a hate crime, and worse, the people who killed him didn't even feel wrong for doing so.

As cliche as it may sound, there's nothing to end a circle of hatred but love and compassion. I know it's not easy, vengeance is a very strong desire. I'm not even sure I can do it. But if we don't, if we keep hating each other and killing each other, then who will be left to save the earth? Einstein once said that four years after all the bees are dead, mankind will extinct too. I think that's just a way of saying, when people are succeed in making one race, or one religion, or one group of people disappear, no matter how seemingly insignificant they may be, it would be the end of the world. Cause they won't stop there. Next it may be you or me. Who knows?