Okay, this week hasn't been too terrible, but I can't help but feel some nervousness over my tests. I'm not good at practical things, I'm pretty much a klutz. You know there're some people who are good at everything? Well, I'm quite the opposite of them. Maybe people who don't know me will see my achievements and they'll think I'm good at everything, but it's not true. I CAN do many things, I know. But I'm not GOOD at the first trial. Those things I can do are the things I routinely train myself on. But there are some people who don't need that, they are able to do things well, even at the first trial. At these times, I really envy them. It's not that I won't train myself, but there's no time. We only have ONE chance to learn, and then, BAM! The final test comes. It's like that. The things I scored most are the things I could practice at home. My friends 'wow'ed and 'ck'ed at me, but they just didn't know how long back I'd trained myself for that moment. About everyday I did it (about a month or so) just for that moment of test. I have to admit, though, luck and my other abilities (like my strengh and my English) also played a certain hand on the other tests. But even those things are the things I didn't get naturally. I trained myself on them because I knew I would need them someday, even for my everyday life. I was right. Lol.
I'll still have tests until Monday and after that I'll have the written tests until Wednesday and I'll go home on... maybe Saturday?
This week is hard more than just the physical factor. Physically, I think that this week has been really easy. But boring. And made me nervous. And there's neither 22 nor Little Bit. I find myself becoming lazy and of course, FAT. Usually I don't care, but this isn't only about my look, but also about my health. I'm not as strong as usual, I'm slower, and I bet my blood sugar (or whatever it's in English) gets high. The good thing, though, is that the artist in me showed herself again. I wrote yet another song, 'Like Green on Grass' and I found I'm still able to sketch St. Paul Cathedral.
Um... I like 'Ai Bu Fen' so much. Oh, I haven't written about that, right? It's the first openly lesbian song in China. The song is rather sappy, but I'm just a big old mushball, I love sappiness! The lyrics really went right into my heart (I was awake until 2 am - when I was suppossed to be on class on 6 am - translating the lyrics). The lyrics are far more beautiful in Chinese, but this is the rough translation.
Once I thought that love is just an extravagant hope
My heart is like a tightly closed window
Once in a while there's a light soaking through, but it still doesn't shine brightly
I'm helplessly in sorrow
It's you who taught me to bravely cherish hope
Holding tight my hand never to get lost
Together we stand up against the ruthless change of the world
Never afraid of the long night that's all around
If we still can choose whom we love, what would you choose?
Would we be just like now?
Loving someone in this way is stubborn or strong?
My love isn't any different, my heart isn't so hard to understand
I only wish for a simple feeling
As the years go by quickly, as love disappears like the wind
We'll still be in embrace
Love doesn't differ who's right who's wrong, love doesn't care what rumor says
If I can't find you in this lifetime, forever I won't give up
As the flowers gradually fall down, as we've seen the end of the world
You are my everything
Beautiful, isn't it? I couldn't translate it well enough to do the lyrics justice, just hear it for yourself.
I like my new song, 'Like Green on Grass'.
We can be like green on grass
Great apart, better together
Through the rain and heat from the sun
We'll grow together like always
We can be like green on grass
Through the stare people's throwing at us
Though people's feet stomping at us
It can never tear us apart
Cause God knew we'll need each other
That is why He created us to be together
As simple as the green on the grass.
It's dedicated for Ryan, since she's the one using that phrase often and inspired me to write this song.
Okay, that's about all I wana wrote today. Actually there're a lot of things going on here, one even made me absolutely MAD, but I think it's not worth telling here. I hope I can post things more often after this. I certainly miss blogging. Lol. See ya'll and wish me luck for my tests.