Tuesday, April 24, 2007

What Makes A Family, A Family?

Yep. What is it? Marriage? Blood? Love? Which one is the most important of all? I need not answer for you, you've got to answer that for yourself. I only want to show one of my newest wallpaper here. Actually it's not my best, but I love Melissa's family. So warm, full of love, and boring. Lol. Definitely my dream family! I wish you all the best, Hollywood Farm Girl and your honey.
Hm... I made two Melissa wallpapers along with this one, actually, but I forgot to bring them with me, I guess I'll upload those later. I'm really obsessed with Melissa and Ellen these days. They give me a lot of inspirations, though Melissa's music actually ruin me! :p Only half kidding. She inspired me so much that I don't want my songs to be just like before. I still like my songs, mind you. But I want to reach a higher level, a level somewhere near Melissa's. Sure we have different music types, but I don't want my songs to be just happy-go-lucky songs anymore, I don't want them to be so light anymore. I'm quite fine with my lyrics, I think they suit me best. But I want to write a song just like Melissa, I want to be able to write all of the emotions there, in the melody, in the tune, and not only in the lyrics.
Both Melissa and Ellen inspired me to be strong, and I intend to be just that. Actually I want to follow their footsteps, to be able to raise that high as a public figure, to be able to show to all the world to see that gay people are just that: people. They can even be talented, funny, entertaining, smart, strong, admirable, loveable, too! Too bad that I don't think entertainment industry is for me, and even if I ever step on that industry, I don't think I'm the one who'll show up on stage. I'm best for the behind-the-scene worker. And I've never been interested to be a public figure, I'm too private a person to be that. But at least, I'll find a way, to make a change in my own community. To make a little change in their viewing us. Just in my campus, with my friends, with my teachers and all. I'm not a lovable person, but they can't say they hate me. Well, to summon it up, I've just made a commitment that I'll be a good gay figure in my community, whatever happens. Even if tomorrow I wake up and suddenly fall in love with a guy (slim chance, but miracle happens), I'll still stand up for love and do what I can to stop any discrimination. I'm so frustrated by all that discrimination, you know. All my life I've known discrimination. This group discriminate that group while that group discriminate this group. I've always taken the neutral side, but ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I won't just shut up and watch anymore. Whenever I have the chance, I'll try my best to speak up.
It's really hard to see people struggle that hard for what they believe in, and you just can't do anything to help them while you're sharing their belief, you know. I'm frustrated here and I want to come out, but my brain tells me this is not the time. This is not America. This is a far more religious country (but morally broken), not to mention far more conventional. I will, I most definitely will. I need to live my life in my own truth. Well, perhaps that's an idea of mine, but afterall, isn't this my universe? Lol. Okay. Nao's come up and I'll chat with her.
See ye later, in good times or whatever.

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