Friday, January 16, 2009


I've just written a new song, called 'Home'. It sounds pretty good if I say so myself. Hehe. It's not so often that I write a song I actually like. Well, the inspiration this time is from Rose of Versailles. The translation of the anime's closing song. It's a beautiful song from Andre's point of view, about how he suffered from his love to Oscar. I used the translation for the first two lines of my song: "If loving you is to suffer/ then by your side I will stay/ until it reaches your heart someday." It wasn't exactly like that in the translation, but whatever. And there's a reference to light-shadow relationship Oscar and Andre shared. But the part I like most is the reffrain. I don't know since when the song transforms into my own feelings and my idea of 'the one'. It goes like this:

Baby can't you see
I may not be the best there is
I can only offer you my heart
And a vow for never be apart
You are the life
I've been searching forever
Somewhere to rest my mind
And a place to call home

Granted, I'm not a good lyricist, but there's something about these lines that I like. Maybe because it's what I really feel. I always feel like I'm not good enough for someone to love me. Well, and my idea of a romantic relationship is someone to build a home with - I'm never into love adventures. If the first person I'm in a relationship with is the last one, I'll be perfectly happy.

By the way, talking about lyric, dammit, sometimes Melissa's lyric can practically knocks me out to heaven. I don't know where that comes from, but I've never even read a poem quite that passionate and beautiful. For example:

I've crept into your temple, I have slept upon your pew
I have dreamed of the divinity inside and out of you
I want it more than truth
I could taste it on my breath
I would give my life just for a little, little death

The sexiness!!! The angelic imaginary! The irony! The hidden meaning! Dammit. Using her own word, I would like to express how I feel about her:

Angels never came down
There's no one here they wanna hang around
But if they knew, if they knew you at all
Then one by one
The angels, angels would fall

She's a genius in lyric, dammit. I've never read anything that could make me go, "Whoaah!!!" like her "I am kneeling on the altar in the temple of your eyes" line. It's really passionate to the point of being overly dramatic - but so suitable to her style and to rock and roll. Of course, being the playfully sexy woman that she is, she never fails to make me blush after realizing some hidden meaning in her lyrics...

I wanna stay here in this moment
Can I quietly slip into you
You and I can stay here in this moment
Let the world fade away, I just wanna stay with you

And this line made me literally drop my jaw:

With her toys, like the boys, she is second to none

Dammit. Nuff said.

Other brilliant example of her genius is how she wrote some songs exclusively for the concert audiences and interacted with them. "Good Girls and Boys" is very good, love it.

"But it was always rock and roll, and there is never really any other choice. So now I stand here and play everyday for the good girls and boys."

But "Not Tonight" is even better! The first time I heard it sung (I watched it from youtube, actually), I laughed out loud. Just when I thought I couldn't love her more!

"Oh my sweet friends, speak true, be strong
Keep on believing we are right where we belong
You know I'd love to sing you just one more song.... (pause)"
(Audience applauded and screamed)
"...but not tonight, not tonight (Audience: "Awwwwwwwwww!!!")"

She wrote the most romantic lyrics too. Both crazy-stalker love and marriage love. Example for crazy stalker:

I would dial the number just to listen to your breath
And I would stand inside my hell and hold the hand of death

Well, and this one is even more crazy stalkery:

I know you're home, you left your light on
You know I'm here, the night is thin
I know you're alone
I watched the car leave
Your lover is gone
Let me in

Ahaha. It's from the song "I Want To Come Over", and the reffrain is like this: "I wanna come over, to hell with the consequences." But some of the fans think it was "I wanna come over, to hell with the concert plans." When you listen to the record, it actually does sound a bit like that. Lol.

Okay, now the marriage-love. You know, any lyrics that actually make me think of Xena and Garbrielle - and their love, a love that I believe is the greatest love of all - can be categorized as very romantic. And how can you blame me for thinking of Xena and Gabrielle when I listened to this:

Were we lovers in the army marching off for Rome
Side by side in the battle, did we bravely leave our home
Did I hold you in my arms, as you were taking your last breath
Did I shout to all the gods, I would love you beyond that
Or more... I swear I've loved you before

From the first time I heard that song, I'd had Xena and Gabrielle on my mind, especially that she wrote 'gods', not 'God', you know. Of course, some of her fans actually thought it was 'Did I shout to all the guards', which doesn't make sense and makes the song faaaaaar less romantic. But even the main verse, in which she talks about the here and now of her love story, it's very romantic in its simplicity.

When I think of how you know me, no doubts no thinking twice
When your smile can be so soothing, a familiar paradise
When there's no one else that makes me whole
I am never needing more
I get this feeling
That I have loved you before

Ahhh... the bliss of marriage life. She once shared that with her ex-partner, and she managed to write ONE very romantic song about that relationship. Well, the lyric is very romantic (and very smart), but that song is not a favorite of mine... I like the romantic songs she wrote after-Julie better. The song is called 'Sleep' and it has three verses. The first one is about them going to sleep after making love. The second one is about them going to 'sleep' after building a home of their dream. And the third one is about them going to their last 'sleep'. Each verse is followed by the reffrain, which, of course, is telling about how she would love to go to 'sleep'. I love the third verse. It's very very romantic.

After the light in my eyes are fading
When running water becomes too deep
Finally angels turn my fire to dust
And when my soul's no longer mine to keep

I wanna lay down on your shoulder, just inside your arm
I wanna listen to your heartbeat, and your breathing on and on
I wanna lay down on your shoulder, surrender to your peace
And go to sleep

Another romantic songs? Well, it was the one written before she met Tammy - and Tammy is actually in the video! How cool do the fates work?

In front of total strangers won't you kiss me
Flowers for no reason but you miss me
Oh, I want to be in love

I'm looking for a heart of gold, I'm looking for a hand to hold
A happy end, strong and kind, somewhere to rest my troubled mind

On Tuesday night light the candles bring me wine
Wednesday morning I won't get to work on time
Oh, I want to be in love

Surprise me as I'm stepping off the plane
Take my hand as they play our song again
Oh, I want to be in love

And her lyrics seem to have some kind of prediction power on its own. After she wrote 'I Want To Be In Love', she did find love. And in a funny way, I think the lyric of Lucky kinda made her have the breast cancer, cause she wanted to know 'How lucky Lucky can be'. Hehe. But also the lyric in 'This Moment':

Now the heavens have less, cause I've found the best
And I won't let them take you away
Tell the angels they just have to wait

They just have to wait, indeed, because between Melissa and Tammy, 'This Is Not Goodbye':

Bravely you let go of my hand, I can't speak yet you understand
Where I go now I go alone
This path I walk these days of stone
And the angels are calling

All of my strength all my desire
Still cannot melt this breath of fire
I go to meet some kind of test
Bury the truth that scars my chest
And the angels are calling and calling and calling

I must go away, wait for me here, silently staying
And don't ask me why
Only believe
This is not goodbye

Ah, I just love this woman so much, and seriously, do you not understand why? Haha. I hope one day I can write a song worthy to be sung by her (hey, a girl can dream - and who knows - the universe will listen). She inspires me in so many ways and dammit if I can't prove I don't waste those inspirations.

I can still write about her for hours, you see, I haven't even discussed about her brilliant 'Tuesday Morning', 'Scarecrow', 'Silent Legacy', 'Testify', 'Giant', 'Christmas In America', and her other 'political' songs. I haven't discussed about her wisdom and courage in writing 'Open Your Mind', 'Kingdom of Heaven', and 'The Universe Listened'. Oh I will blog about those songs too... but not tonight, not tonight. :D

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